No matter how intense Ob/Gyn is, it never fails to produce amusing/disturbing stories:
- "This baby is coming out the front door, not the roof!" - Nurse talking about the mode of delivery being vaginal
- A lady got a hysterectomy: "The doctor took out the baby carriage and left in the play pen."
- After hearing about residents complain about how big their babies are and how they aren't looking forward to delivery:
- Friend: "How does that make you feel about giving birth?"
- Me: "Epidural."
- Pregnant woman who's on parole, methadone, and a side of heroin ran away from the labor and delivery unit - literally ran away, as the police trailed behind.
- Resident: "She can't be that difficult to catch, right? How many 34 week pregnant women are running away in wet pants because she peed herself while vomiting?"
- Foreign objects found in urogyn:
- There was a string-like object on bladder scope that looked like a hanging light switch. It turned out to be a baby garter snake! Apparently the guy had been playing with it at his "opening", and lost hold of it. (Cringe, cringe, cringe!)
- Woman found with kidney stones in her bladder, but they had a hard time breaking the stone apart to help it pass. Turns out she had a mental disease and had been at the beach sticking stones up her urethra.
- Resident: "I love my husband for doing ENT, but I would just love him more if he did plastics."
- Women came in 8 mo pregnant...and just found out a week ago because she was on contraceptive pills.
Renal Quotables:
- Dialysis:
- Patient: "I'm ready!"
- Dr: "What are you ready for?"
- Patient: "For dialysis!"
- Dr: "Uh...you are on dialysis already"
- Patient: "I am?"
- Dr: "Yeah..."
- (Sighs...that's what end stage renal disease will do to ya)
- Elevator Doors:
- "Each kind of doctor uses the body part they don't use to block doors: Internal medicine docs use their hands, surgeons use their feet, and orthopods use their heads" (from a Surgeon)
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