Who would've thought that my most intimate interaction with anyone would be in a small room with two other students watching me? Yup, it's called advanced physical exam. Every year, 120 or so confused medical students split up into teams of 3 to learn how to do a breast exam, pelvic exam, genital exam, and rectal exam on a real, live, standardized patient (these people had better be paid a good amount of moolah).*
Anyhow, I was paired up with two other guys, and so I got to go first with the breast and pelvic exam. The whole thing was very professionally handled, but still, there were times where I couldn't believe how hard I had to press to milk for discharge or how difficult it was to find an ovary. It also didn't help that I, being curious and having a tendency to ask way to many questions, was in the middle of a manual pelvic exam when I started asking all these questions of how exactly was I supposed to feel an ovary when my hand was twisted in the most awkward position ever. But I suppose during the time I was so focused on the logistics of everything, I didn't have time to think about the strangeness of my situation. Temperature test, forefinger in, middle finger on top, middle finger down, press down, insert speculum, retract fingers, keep speculum pointed down, open clamp, scrape os, close clamp, retract speculum while inspecting sides. Then lube and insert fingers as above, test cervix mobility, turn fingers, move uterus, feel for uterus size, side sweeps for ovaries. Although I wasn't able to find the sneaky little bugger (aka, the os) while my fellow students did, I was amused watching them struggle to remain calm during this ordeal as their hand shook and beads of sweat formed on their forehead.
It was also partly comforting and partly unusual when the male SP (standardized patient) told us that he had done many of these and had traveled around the country doing these. In fact, the female SP said she enjoys being an SP - especially when she gets to be mean (oy!). Anyhow, as the male SP was talking, he just casually dropped his trousers and continued talking to us as if nothing happened. Observe, lymph nodes, pulse, check posterior, shaft, scoop and grasp cord, palpate 3 things, pull down skin to test for inguinal hernial with opposite finger, bare down. This time I learned being first wasn't good, so I got to go last. Having watched this exam 3 times, I was confident. "Lube, use thumbs to examine, left hand to retract, warn about cool sensation, touch, insert..." But as the SP was walking me through the exam, his phone went off. While I patiently waited for him, he reached for his phone and fumbled it until he finally managed to silence it. Then he continued the exam as if nothing had happened. "...sweep 360, press down and in, tell the patient what to expect, there, you've found the prostate, retract, squeeze, done." I quickly said a thank you, and rushed to get out, unaware I had opened the door when the SP was still lacking his trousers. Thankfully he just smiled and said they were all family anyways.
I'm thoroughly grateful for the SP's who have, in a sense, given up their body for science.
*Note: No SP's were harmed in the making of 120 med students.
Anyhow, I was paired up with two other guys, and so I got to go first with the breast and pelvic exam. The whole thing was very professionally handled, but still, there were times where I couldn't believe how hard I had to press to milk for discharge or how difficult it was to find an ovary. It also didn't help that I, being curious and having a tendency to ask way to many questions, was in the middle of a manual pelvic exam when I started asking all these questions of how exactly was I supposed to feel an ovary when my hand was twisted in the most awkward position ever. But I suppose during the time I was so focused on the logistics of everything, I didn't have time to think about the strangeness of my situation. Temperature test, forefinger in, middle finger on top, middle finger down, press down, insert speculum, retract fingers, keep speculum pointed down, open clamp, scrape os, close clamp, retract speculum while inspecting sides. Then lube and insert fingers as above, test cervix mobility, turn fingers, move uterus, feel for uterus size, side sweeps for ovaries. Although I wasn't able to find the sneaky little bugger (aka, the os) while my fellow students did, I was amused watching them struggle to remain calm during this ordeal as their hand shook and beads of sweat formed on their forehead.
It was also partly comforting and partly unusual when the male SP (standardized patient) told us that he had done many of these and had traveled around the country doing these. In fact, the female SP said she enjoys being an SP - especially when she gets to be mean (oy!). Anyhow, as the male SP was talking, he just casually dropped his trousers and continued talking to us as if nothing happened. Observe, lymph nodes, pulse, check posterior, shaft, scoop and grasp cord, palpate 3 things, pull down skin to test for inguinal hernial with opposite finger, bare down. This time I learned being first wasn't good, so I got to go last. Having watched this exam 3 times, I was confident. "Lube, use thumbs to examine, left hand to retract, warn about cool sensation, touch, insert..." But as the SP was walking me through the exam, his phone went off. While I patiently waited for him, he reached for his phone and fumbled it until he finally managed to silence it. Then he continued the exam as if nothing had happened. "...sweep 360, press down and in, tell the patient what to expect, there, you've found the prostate, retract, squeeze, done." I quickly said a thank you, and rushed to get out, unaware I had opened the door when the SP was still lacking his trousers. Thankfully he just smiled and said they were all family anyways.
I'm thoroughly grateful for the SP's who have, in a sense, given up their body for science.
*Note: No SP's were harmed in the making of 120 med students.
Oh wow... You med school students have all the adventures!
ReplyDeletehaha...to go, where no one has gone before... (although, i'm pretty sure that statement is false)
ReplyDelete