Parenting the Biblical Way

Today's pre-chili-cook-off sermon was about parenting.  Darin placed emphasis on the importance of having honor run the family and the society.  He emphasized the importance of father's participation in parenting, the myths, and the reasons and ways of honoring imperfect parents:

• Statistically, children benefit from a father's involvement in parenting: better academically, emotional/social health is better
• Everyone grew up in dysfunctional families (even the ones that look perfect) because parents are imperfect
• The center of the family is not the child because children will leave.  God is the center.
• "A family is a covenant community where worship and learning happens in the context of unconditional love."
• Different growth:
• Spouse: grow to be interdependent
• Parenting: how to be independent or codependent
• Old school:
• Center of the family is the dad - chauvinistic
• Family is an emotional support only
• Child is like a slave - parents live through kids vicariously
• Parents are just friends
• Ephesians 6:1: Children obey your parents...honor your father and mother...
• Growing up: obey parents
• As adults: honor parents (there's a difference)
• NOT obey b/c parents are imperfect
• Why honor?
• parents represent authority in our life
• authority: when God puts fallible people to discipline, protect, and teach us.
• we don't like authority, but we need it 
• teach us authority - when give God authority, we give him glory & us joy
• What honor looks like
• Take them seriously
• The Hebrew word for honor is "weighty" - so treat them like they matter, they have weight
• Find common ground with them
• Ask them for advice (Parents shouldn't expect grown children to obey, but should influence them)
• Listen to their struggles, esp. health - let them finish well
• Share your joy with them (they see themselves in you)
• Big one: forgive them.
• Even when parents die, they will still have bearing on you if you don't forgive them.
• Ephesian 4:31: ...as God forgave you.