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Thursday, August 27, 2026

Seattle July 2026

 Seattle trip felt much more relaxing than previous trips.  Reasons for enjoyment:

1. YW parents watched kids for a couple days while we visited Olympic Park with Houston friends.  During this time, W did VBS at a church down the street.  We didn't know how he would like it, since we didn't know anyone at the church.  But he enjoyed the crafts and singing/dancing.  We will plan to do VBS again in future years.
2. YW parents helping with cooking/cleaning, watching kids at times
3. Hangouts with YW brother
4. AB's brother's family visited from Portland
5. Kids adjusted to Pacific time much quicker this trip.  Their sleep was less interrupted by garage opening or loud talking in the house.  W could entertain himself until we woke up at 7AM.
6. We did not keep a baby monitor in our room, so our sleep was better.
7. J could stay out until noon before napping, allowing more activities during morning time. 
Our schedule:
Mon disc golf and VBS
Tue to Thurs Olympic park and Wesley VBS
Fri blackberry picking, din tai fung , UW tour
Sat St Edward’s Park hike, AB brother visit and local playground 
Sun local playground, world cup final 
Mon log boom park
Tue flight museum, Juanita beach
Wed OO Denny playground, Seafair boat tour 
Thu AnnW playground 
Fri St Edwards hike, Odle friends dinner
Sat puzzling, Bellevue playground, parents church potluck, Inglemoor friends dinner
YW stayed an extra week, while AB returned with W

W 4y-5y

 9/1/25

W is mostly a very good kid. Good at following routine, school, dinner, bedtime. We try to find fun activities to do, but its hard with baby j and his nap schedule. W is thinking more about the future and the past, but still gets confused what was yesterday (thinking before nap is yesterday). He likes to help set the table, clean up, and help with baby J. He loooooves trains and has been reading the huge train book over and over again. 


9/7/25 

Dilemma how to discipline W.  Traditional time outs? Discussion about sin and consequences? Or focus on addressing emotional needs and language of understanding? It frustrates me that it seems like W is willing to listen to everyone except for me. I feel like I have so little power, authority, sway. It hurts when he says, "you don't care about me!" How much do I take these to heart? At one point I would say something, and W would say "no" or "not true." And I would refer to google and show that's what google shows. Ab made a good point google shouldn't be our reference of authority. Need to remember to use the Bible. 


10/16/25

W finished doing his GT testing few weeks ago. It's strange such a little kiddo is going to do testing. Also strange that he has to test with other kids who are a year older than him. Even during the test, all the other kids are a head taller. Some sources say they do curve grading based on age (in 3 month chunks), we shall see if its true. Some of the questions on the practice test definitly seem pretty hard like the mirror image and simple arithmetic analogy questions. I feel like its all a crap shoot... cuz depends on where he gets tested, who is the Proctor, how much they do or don't "help" or repeat or allow time to think, or who the other kids are and if they are distracting, how much sleep they got, whether w was in the mood that day, whether he got distracted by something else like snacks...  one source said it took them 3-4 hours, and w's Proctor said it would be less than 2. Thankfully it was less than 2. Afterwards we tried to pry and ask him questions to understand what happened, but it's all a mystery. 

He said: It got harder and harder. The "brown part" was the hardest (whatever that means lol). He got most of then right. When I asked how he knew he got some wrong, he couldn't answer. One of the kids didn't want to answer more questions partly through. They had 2 snack breaks (and he just ate seaweed). There were cutting questions (the mirror image questions), and regarding if there analogies, couldn't get a straight answer. When asked if there were 10 questions or more, he said many many more. He answered all the questions, didn't skip any. 

Initially when he was supposed to go in, he was wrapped around my leg and didn't want to go in. 


10/21/25

W has been drawing people recently. It's so funny how all of his people have very prominent belly buttons. His family portrait has everyone with a very large belly button. Not sure what his obsession with belly buttons is...but everytime he sees a person without their shirt, he always screams. "Belly button!!!!"


11/1/25

W read an entire book! Granted, each page had only 1-3 very sentences that focused on the -in word family...but still! He sounded out all the words! (With some correction). Good reading W!

Today was also a very sweet moment: W helped Jasper with his cube shape puzzle (putting shapes in a cube). We were so proud of W and Jasper. W is such a good big brother, teaching his little brother. So kind!


12/3/25

Thanksgiving highs and lows:

Playing Board games from library (gnomes at night)

Cooking together (Wesley put 4 pancakes on his plate after making them, and enjoyed making apple pies. It was the 4th generation to make the pies)

Playing kickball as a family, trying tennis.

Talking to friends at Thanksgiving dinner 

Lows:

Jasper being sick and refusing to eat vegetables

Older kids not wanting to play with Wesley at Thanksgiving, or playing rough with him. Wesley saying “are you my friend?”

Wesley missing nap or going to bed late , and being grouchy afterwards 

Difficulty scheduling with AB parents. Mom anxious about getting sick, weather.


10/25/25

Now W says "why???" for everything, even when he actually means how. 


12/21/25

W loves trains, boardgames, and asking why. He's learning how to read and do simple math. He passed the GT test (94 percentile verbal, 85 percentile nonverbal, 96 percentile quantitative), but we may still redshirt him for his size. He understands when I speak Chinese to him, but he always responds in English...sighs...as expected. 


12/29/25 

As the year comes to a close, and I reflect on W...I can't help but think what a sweet, lovely boy he is. I love this age! He is so fun, talkative, smart, curious, and such a joy to be around. Even when he's upset he's still very cute. Even though at those times, I'm sure I don't think this way. Although it can be sometimes taxing when he responds with "why" to every single thing, I need to remind myself that it's his way of learning from the world and I should appreciate this curiosity. Glad he's willing to talk to me now because I'm sure he won't as a teenager (breaks my heart to think of him growing up and as a teen). 

Today we played Azul with him, and he won! Other games we tried were Carcassonne (without the farming and strategy is kind of lost on him), Gnomes at Night (he does pretty well except for hard levels need some help), Pokémon Labyrinth (need some help), Hoot Owl Hoot, Outfoxed. Of course, the strategy is hard for him, but I'm so happy he can play some games because we really like games! It's just difficult to play games with him when J is around because J just destroys everything and causes chaos. Can't wait until J is W's age, but then W will be much older... sighs. 

Sample why questions: 

Why are there only 3 floors (in this elevator)? Why does Saturn have rings? Why is Uranus tilted? 

In a book we are reading: why are there mountains? 


1/1/26

We went to putt putt at speedy's (really good deal, bogo $9 for 18 holes), and W had his 1st hole in 1 at putt putt!!! Woot!! So funny he waa trying to teach his friend how to putt putt even though he himself doesn't always hold it right. 


2/7/26 

W has been consistently NOT napping at school. And he gets soooo cranky. He goes into hyper drive, no body control mode and also every little thing sets him off. The other day I told him he wasn't writing his P's correctly and I erased what he had written and he got so upset I erased it he went into a rage. I couldn't unerase it and so he went into a tantrum, throwing things, and needed a time out. Upset during time out, the time out got extended. 

It seemed like every day he was getting a time out immediately or soon after arriving home. And yet he still resists going to sleep at night. We usually go up 8p to do his routine and read until 8:30p for bedtime, but with no nap, we've moved it to 7 or 730p. Ab and I have a disagreement on how early. Ab prefers 730p (which often drags to 745p), and I want 7:05p. This even caused us to have an argument... I was so tired of W having tantrum and behaving poorly and finally we even got a note that he was throwing sand and scraming/kicking at school, so AB allowed me to do 7p. I think it's working better, but maybe the time outs are working? Or maybe he's just growing? 


2/15/26

Trip to Austin. 3 hr drive to Austin.

Visit State Capitol, tour: Houston statue, painting surrender of Santa Anna, then TX become state. New legislature with black, but then none for next decades. Portraits of governors. Visit Senate chamber, see portraits including Ms Opal who started Juneteenth celebration. Underground expansion of Capitol (so big!).

Terry Black BBQ Michelin restaurant: melt in mouth brisket and ribs! 

Enchanted Rock: 0.7 mi hike to summit, then inner loop. So impressed W and classmates and sister hiekd 3 miles that day! They loved the walkie talkie. 

After disagreement with my dad in car, and we got to restaurant and I said to W "Sorry." W said: "It's ok mommy, I know you tried your best." What a sweet angel. It makes me cry out of love. 


Lake Travis. Skipped rocks.

 Mini farm

W loved playing with the bunnies in the bunny parlor. Literally little cubbies where bunnies stayed and kids got to put ribbons on, brush, feed, pkay doctor with, everything. Sooooo soft and adorable.

Flemish giant: huge rabbit. Like greens. 

Feed: ostrich, emu, miniature horse, goats, deer, munt jack deer, wallaby. See: lemur, fox, coati.

Bluebell creamerie: observation deck, huge scoop for $1


4/6/26 Faith school meeting for W (4.5yo)

Hit all the preK goals. Progressed beautifully. Building on what he knows: writing, sound out words, sight words. Only one who's mastered everything. Reading small books, sound out words. 3D shapes. 

How's temperament since he stopped napping? Over last month, last month, a few time really emotional usually after nap time. But able to self regulate better recently. 

How's eating: same amount as other kids. 

Really loves art, creating things. Helper, help others out. 


4/24/26

At astros game:

W asked: Why is he number 99 (referring to Aaron Judge). 

Ab: you can pick any number you wanna be.

W: Can we pkay soccer? I will be number 4 and you can be number 60. 

J really liked Orbit. He would walk over there and point, then get scared and walk back. And he lived popcorn. He would open his mouth really wide and try to fit as much as he can. 


5/9/26

W drawings: 

Pumpkin

Baba on a bridge

Rainbow car smushed in the water (when we asked for clue he said it was like a car. And a vehicle. And it goes in the water, but sinks.)


6/6/26

We did a food distribution with Houston food bank and CCSC. W said he liked doing it and wanted to do it every day! It warmed our hearts to hear it! 

Today was quite crazy. It rained and stopped, and rained A LOT. We were all soaked despite the tents, but it was nice when the sun came out. W handed out bags of 10 potatoes, got tired and switched to handing out half gallon milks. At the end we were bagging plums. There were soooo many plums all in one giant box (box prob 5' x5').

W had been so good at going to sleep at night after the routine...but lately, he has been refusing to sleep again. He keeps on coming out his room, complaining of one thing or another. It's likely because he naps during the weekend and then isn't as sleepy at 8:30p. Not sure what to do...threaten him with no legos next day if he comes out, but then we say ok to go to the potty or drink a little water, so then he does that a bunch of times. Or today he was crying loudly because it's "too dark." 🤦‍♀️ But if we don't do the nap, he is so cranky!  


7/4/26

W's sleep had been so bad. He was coming out more than 5 times each night (too dark, I dont like when you are not here, i have one last thing to say, what if i dont remember in the morning, bunny wants a hug, what if there is a fire? What if there are bad guys? ...). We finally tried to say the same phrase whenever he comes out, but then he would get so upset bc we were putting up new boundaries. He would scream and shout and at even pull the monitor cords bc he felt he wasnt being heard (event though we said, you are upset and you really want to tell us something, but it's time to sleep). Finally we decided to allow him to talk to us on the monitor, and he may have come out once, but it was much improved from before. 

Today was a big improvement. He ate spaghetti, he ate burger, he dunked his head in the water willingly. All these things hopefully will continue... hoping he is willing to try these new things and do new things thay used to make him cry or say no. 



Quotes: 

Ab: Are you going to be a baba?

W: yes!

Ab: Are you going to have a boy or a girl?

W: A boy because baby j is a boy!

Ab: hahahaha (baby j is always gonna be a baby???)


After we sang happy bday to AB:

W: But we have to go somewhere first.


Before going to sleep: 

W: Mommy, you are the best mommy!

Yw: Thanks! You are the best Wesley!


While W is showing Ab how to do a lego owl: 

W: Let me help you, this part is a little tricky.


After a time out and I gave W a hug and told him I love him:

W: Mommy, I love you 100%!


Trying to say lemon turnover: 

W: lemon flipover!


W: When I grow up and have a baby, Im going to call him joy. And if I have another baby, I will call him Jesus. 


After racecar themed rollercoaster, first thing W says: "Did we win?!!"

YW: Did you like that? (regarding rollercoaster)

W: Some parts were not comfortable. 


With baby sitter:

Baby sitter: Will you cry when you go to sleep?

W: Sometimes I cry when I wake up because I don't know where I am


Baby sitter: Do you read 3 books?

W: Mommy and daddy only let me read 2 books. (haha, so honest)



While baby cousin H sleeping: 

W: You will wait until she wakes up to go?

Aunt M: That's right!

W: You don't want to lose her!

Aunt M: haha, ya we don't want to lose her! That would be bad!


W: Mommy, did you make this? (regarding pork belly stew)

YW: yes I did

W: I feel like this is the best food!


Yw: Mommy and baba are responsible for you and J, so we worry about you. 

W: when I grow bigger, I'll be J's dad. 


W: Pharoah Pharoah ah baby let my people go, ooh ahh, Yaya, Yaya. 


After visit to friend's house (Dr. BH) with fun toys:

W: I want to marry that person and live in that house.


When W couldn't fit his name on one name tag, he put the rest of his name on another name tag


W: I want to have eight kids, so that both of the cars can be filled up!


Listening to the song "Circles" on radio:

W: what are they running away from?


W: I fell asleep but my toes did not


W: how do you finish work?

Ab: oh work is not fun like your school. I have to work hard. There is no playing or reading books. 

W: is there a playground?

Ab: oh no playground. I have to work to get gas and food. 

W: Do you have to get gas every month?


Ab: when you get older you can have your own children!

W: one of them will be Jasper.


W: What if no one wants to marry me?


W: Let's watch soccer on the TV so we don't have to pay right?


W: Do you know everything?
AB: No, I don't know everything
W: I don't like it when you're gone...
AB: Oh, I know all that stuff. But I don't know everything in the world and I'm still learning.
W: Yes, I'm learning from Ms. Samantha, and I tell you and you learn it from me. 
AB: I learned stuff when I was at school. 
W: What did you learn at school?
AB: I learned math, reading, playing violin...

W: Do other countries have a parade too? (Re 4th of July parade)
AB: Yeah they do, but on different days


7/22/26

Yw: see the time? When we go home, we have to go up to read.

W: I dont want it to be nap time!

Yw: Ya, sometimes you want it to be.

W: I have decided it's only going to be playtime 


W to AB: Why do you always listen to mommy? You're bigger than her.


Yw: why do people say "feel free"?


Listening to song on car radio:

W: this song is too slow, skip!


W: I want to be nocturnal 

Ab: why?

W: then J won't take my toy



Saturday, July 4, 2026

Grandmother (ahbu)

 Grandmother was diagnosed with GI cancer (small intestine) around 2020. At that time I wanted to go visit her, but because it was covid, relatives convinced me not to. Thankfully i didnt because my mom went back and was quarantined for 3 weeks and required multiple covid tests a day (the kind where they tickle your brain, it seems). 

Now its been 5 years and her cancer is worse. She couldn't eat anything and was vomiting so much. Her cancer has grown more and likely blocked her Gi track. She's undergoing chemo, but even thats not enough. Today parents said they are transferring her to another hospital to put in a palliative stent. And hopefully it will stabilize her, help with her pain and vomiting, and give her a little more time. 


I feel so guilty. So guilty I haven't visited her since she had cancer. That the kids will probably never get to see their great grandmother even though they had the opportunity.  I always reasoned that the kids are young and its too hard to visit her.  But in reality, maybe I was being too selfish and putting my comfort first instead of relationship with grandma. My grandmother has really sacrificed so much. She was the one who took care of my mom when grandpa was always away on work, and she took care of me for 4 years when my parents went to the US. And then she took care of my brother when he was growing up for some 4 years. And then later when my grandfather was dying, he decided to give all his inheritance to his distant nephew instead of his own wife. And through all these years, I never hear her complaining. She quietly cares for everyone and takes it all. She deserves to be recognized and loved and be surrounded by all her loved ones. 

I pray thay God will give me a chance to see her, and that it's not too late. I pray the stent procedure will go smoothly and my kids will get a chance to see their great grandmother. I pray that she will see God through all this hardship and God will reveal himself to her. And pray for her comfort during these last months. God, give her mercy. And forgive me for being a negligent granddaughter. 


Dear Grandmother,


Thank you for taking care of so many generations—Mom, me, and my little brother. You have always been there for us, quietly carrying so much without ever complaining about the difficulties.


Thank you for your steady love, your kindness, and the countless sacrifices you made so we could grow up feeling safe and cared for. We are who we are because of you.


With all my love and gratitude.

亲爱的外婆:


感谢您养育了我们几代人——妈妈、我和弟弟。您一直默默地守护着我们,承担着那么多,却从不抱怨任何辛苦。


感谢您始终如一的爱、您的善良,以及您为了让我们在一个充满安全感和关爱的环境中成长而做出的无数牺牲。正因为有了您,我们才能成为今天的我们。


谨以此表达我深深的爱与感激。


She passed July 4th, 2026 in the hospital. Ashes buried with my grandpa.

Sunday, May 31, 2026

J 1yo

 6/21/25 almost 13 mo

We finally see a little tooth on the bottom about to come out!

Still not walking, but perpetually seems like hes gonna walk. He will take a few steps when we prep him, but otherwise crawling is his way.


6/27/25 almost 13 mo

Wow Jasper is really walking! He will walk from one furniture to another on his own volition. Only a about 5 steps, but much improved from before! He will also pretend to be a duck and say "ah ah," wave bye, and dance to old Mcdonald snd other music. So cute! Sometimes a "hi" that's more like "ah."



7/12/25 13.5mo

J started clapping!

7/16/25 Can go down slide by himself (turn around, tummy down, feet first). He lives woodchips! So fun putting it from one place to another (onto slide or onto sidewalk). Silly j!

8/10/25 14 months

Jasper is very proficient in walking now! He really learned on our Seattle trip (7/12 to 28). Now he will primarily walk and doesnt eat too many things off the ground. Sometimes when hes tired, he will still lut his face on the ground if its soft. 

He will say uh-oh, and mama, no no no. He likes it when I pretend my hand is an alligator and try to chomp his hands and feet. We are glad he's still able to sleep at grandparent's place even though its a new place. He likes watching cars outside the windows. He will copy our signs for more and all done. 

J and w's naps are staggered right now, so its hard to get no-kid time on the weekends. We would each handle one child for bed time.


8/29/25

Still no teeth! And already 15 months! Yet he eats everything (small pieces). He is making more sounds. It seems like recently he discovered his voice. We tried consolidating to 1 nap, but it seems like he isn't quite ready. He gets fussy, and doesn't sleep the desired 3 hours. But when we gave 2 naps, he has a lot of trouble falling asleep during the 2nd nap even 4 hours later. But overall, he is pretty chill even when he doesn't sleep well. 

He loves clothing tags. Used to just smell them, but now he likes to put them in his mouth and chew on it. 

It's interesting how dark he is. Everyone comments on how tan he is, especially next to W. I need to do a better job of sunscreen and covering him when we go outside. 


9/14/25 almost 16mo

Wow, almost 16 mo, and I finally see a little tiny bit of white poking out from the top gum on the left. What a funny kiddo. When we say no bc hes swiping food or dropping food, he gets this frown and immediately knows we are talking about him, then starts slowly crying. He does imitate some words like nom nom. Says Abu Abu. Gaga. And er duo (ear). He will stick his tongue out at us bc of the book of body parts. He also waddles around quite efficiently now. 


10/23/25 almost 17 mo

J finally has 2 more upper teeth coming. But not the right middle one. So weird. 

Also he recently has been able to tell us when he pooped. He will point to his diaper and cry. When I told him we are going outside and to put on his shoes, he will go and try to put on his shoes unsuccessfully and get me my shoes. 


11/30/25 18mo

Hes saying: Baba. Mama, Abu (grandma), roar, mao mao (cat), miao miao, ruff ruff, gou gou (dog), uh oh, nai nai (milk), lan Mei (blue berry), ball, Dada (big), oh no, o (for cheerio), poopoo, ), tick tick (clock), baobao (pick up). 

He naps 2 to 3 hours 12p to 3p, then night sleep 8p to 730a. 


12/17/25 

J says a few more words: wa wa (water), bubble and paopao, gege (big brother). He can stack 5 blocks, and can put in quite a bit of shapes in the shape box. J can scribble quite a bit. He especially likes taking the cap off markers and throwing them on the ground (sighs). 


2/26/26 21mo

J will try to follow along in some songs like wheels the bus: beep beep, hand motion for door open/shut by covering face, shhhhh, baby wah wah (pretending cry)... 

I think i finally see a 7th teeth coming out on the bottom! Been forever with just 6 teeth but eating everything! 

Im glad he's willing to eat some more veggies: broccoli crown, green beans, asparagus. But only small pieces. 

He is very attached to his blanket/tag ("beibei").


3/2/26 21 month

Annoying thing about J's eating: when there are too many things on the table, he will point at something, but we can't tell what it is and he gets too frustrated. Ab remembers W being the same way around 22 months. And I remember W being like that when we went to an Ethiopian restaurant with my brother after swimming one day and we couldn't figure out what he wanted and he had a melt down. 


4/8/26 22 months

J has certain words he refuses to say. Instead of water, he only says "Wa wa." Instead of car, he says "beep beep." Instead of airplane, he says "hooooo." Instead of train, he says, "choo choo" but he can't really make the ch sound, so it ends up being "hoo hoo." He does put some two words together like "ball please" (more like ball peas) or "wo yao" or "jie ge ge" (pick up brother). He's learning little by little. 

He loves cheese and rice, very constipating foods, so we are always trying to figure out ways to get him to eat veggies and fruit. So far, there isn't really one fruit he will for certain eat, which makes it hard. But he does like apple sauce pouches. He will occasionally eat mushrooms and nappa cabbage now, so that helps. And sometimes he likes green beans and corn, but it's still hard to tell. He used to eat sweet potato fries, but not so much lately. Maybe the ones I make aren't crispy enough? I thought he liked chips, but he didn't eat much of his crispy taco. Hm...always a mystery what he will eat. 

We tried going to the beach with them Good Friday with some friends. The beach itself was much better this time because he could walk around and play and not always always be watching him and we didn't have to bring too much because there were so many people going so everyone split up stuff to bring. But on the way back, he only slept 30 min in the car and woke up before we were even off the freeway. Why??? Don't know... so he was clingy and kind of accident prone the rest of the day. Fortunately, he was still able to get back to his routine of napping 2.5-3hrs. I don't know how comfortable AB will be messing with his nap for now...probably not until a long ways from now... 


4/11/26 22 mo

Man, I feel bad... I got so angry at J today for fussing/crying during lunch. Looking back, it was probably because he was tired... and he probably just didn't want me giving him spoonfuls of rice mixed with other things, and instead just wanted rice, but he kept on crying even if I offered him other things. So I hit the table, I yelled at him. It was a bad moment. Thank goodness AB came downstairs and took over. I was also probably frustrated that I was busy cooking and feeling J and Ab and W were playing games upstairs and made J cry also he wanted to go play too. Anyhow, need to learn from W's book to calm down before things escalate. Maybe say how I'm feeling. Unfortunately J doesn't really understand these words of expression well yet. 


Funny moments:

Ab: fumbling bumbling baby J 

W repeats: fumbling bumbling baby J


Whenever I vacuum, J uses his popper toy and pretends to vacuum too. 


We sang happy bday to jiu jiu and J says "too you!" Then continues to pretend to blow candles for a long time (with a lot of spit coming out).


4/25/26 23 mo

When I showed pictures of Little W to J, and asked him "who is this?" J responded, "di di" (little brother, or himself). 😆 


5/21/26

Point to his mosquito bite with sad face: "booboo bee!" (Imstead of bumble bee)


5/25/26 (almost 2)

J finally has 2 molars showing. He still only has 6 teeth in front (4 top, 2 bottom), so it's funny he's skipping some lower and upper front teeth. What happened to his canines? It must have been 6 months since his last teeth came out! 

Now he's talking quite a lot...sometimes too much when we are trying to do other things. 


Divorce Sermon

 Mark 10:1-12


Look for ways to stay in a marriage rather than ways to get out of it.


 Pray: 

God alone can soften hearts, give counsel from a friend...


Cru family life weekend to remember retreat: 

Keeping your marriage a priority.

Pray together daily (in addition to meals). How can I pray for you?

Grow together spiritually: reading Bible together, talk about sermon, study


Meaningful conversations: Funniest memories of dating days? Greatest need in season? When feel most loved? 







Saturday, February 21, 2026

Screens in a digital age


2/17/26

Frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until 25, so helps to delay screens

Easy now, harder later. Hard now, easy later.

Videogames is a dopamine rush more than anything in reality. (Slow up down dopamine see friend, fell, yummy food, not yummy food). Vs videogame: huuuuge dopamine rush, so much that reality is not as interesting.


Social Skils

1 Affection Give & recieve love

2. Appreciation

3. Anger Management

4. Apology 

5 Atention


Affection

body, eye contact

online: not synchronous, disembodied

need to touch

kids are not getting their, love tank filled

TOUCH, WORDS

Time w/o Phone


gratitude

APPReciaTion

eve contact: Thank you-say name.

Entitled, don't have to Wait. they get whatever they want, can only choose what they want 

WAIT

Write someone a note of thanks


ANGER Management 

What happenod to make them mad 

good anger and bad anger. 

Bad Anger: I didn't get my way


APOLOGY: 5 languages

Regret,  repentance, responsibility, ask forgiveness, Restitution ( What can I do to)


Be ReaDy "Already know the worst thing they will do"


ATTenTion Aways thinking of something else.  your brain is somewhere else.   About half the people are somewhere else

We need to be PRESENT

pro 4:23 keep your haant


Start with dumb phone: text, group chat, pictures, GPS, clean music. Doesnt connect to internet. Example: Gabb phone: 

"Arlene" give discount. 

Important game can't be online and access strangers. 

But even when kids go on away games, trips, most others have phones, so they can ask friend to text to parent and check in. 


Things check all the time: put on computer. Add friction. 

Pick a plan: 

Platinum: delay smartphone, social media, video games until 12th grade or later. Making kids be bored so they can develop abilities and skills.

Gold: Delay smartphone, social media, video games, until 16

Silver: 9 hours sleep, 1 hour exercise, 2 hours or less digital candy. 

Bronze:

daily meal without phone

using both hands

-no device in bedroom

-phone free activity

- digital sabbath & Challenges


All with humility.


16 when drive, often ppl give phone, but its ironic bc so much distraction on phone (texting and driving). There are basic phones that have gps and texting. But encourage know where going and put phone in back.

Bill gates: no iPad till 14, many silicon Valley ppl say no ipad/phone till many years later. 


Rules: 

Daily meals w/o phones

No devices in bedrooms

Do phone free activities

Digital Sabathia and challenges (rest from YouTube, social media)


Spaces that are protected: but has boundaries. Everything away by 8, or Sunday no YouTube, and insist on it. 

"Parents Rising": how to lead in the home. 

Challenge: who can last longest without... or 1 month detox. 


Example: 

Son was so addicted to videogame, knew it was problem when son asked for $3 videogame and dad refused, the son said if you give it to me, I won't ask for anything else the rest of my life. Also having panic attacks everywhere. Required 1 month of detox (literal using body to block from videogame).

Kid has videogame access high school, and then flanking out of 1st semester college. Look like om drugs: scrawny, pale, zombie like 


Also easy accress to porn. 98% young adult male seen porn recently. 

Ask questions: does this give strangers access to my child? Is it addictive? Is it helpful? What problem does it solve? 

"Atomic Habits" book. Make habit obvious. At 8p, no screens unless together. Make it easy and pleasurable. Eg 1 month no screens and after can go on 2 day trip. Think how to make it fun? 


Benefits of limit screen: relational

Most likely online is digital Babylon (not digital Jerusalem). 

Dark green (bad), light green (good) online.


Do hard things now, and they will show how healthy they are later.  


Luke 12:4. Dont fear those who kill the body and can do no more. Fear those who after death can cast into he'll. Fear God. 


If 2036, what do I want my family to look like: 

Wesley 14yo, Jasper 11 yo. Family goes on vacation together twice a year. Both kids doing a sport they both love. No phones or ipads. We continue go to church together weekly and smaller group. Continue to be friends with current church friends. Brothers love each other. 

What plan moving forward: 

No smart phone till 18. But occasionally play videogames together starting ?high school on weekends with 1 hour limit. Not alone.





Friday, January 9, 2026

2025

-Largest snowfall in Houston

-AB continue teaching 6th graders at church

-I continued allergy shots (started Sept 2024)

-W continued in soccer shots (R)

-AB and I played church flag football -difficult juggling naps.

-W was featured on the Rockets jumbotron

-Seattle to visit family but also hike Mt. Rainier Sunrise side. Left kids with parents in Seattle and went to AT and L's wedding in San Francisco Bay Area. 

-South Carolina trip for AB's conference at the Montage at Palmetto Bluff (we learned where Justin Bieber got married)

-Cancun for ZJ and MW's wedding (beautiful, all inclusive resort), parents came too 

-Los Angeles for PL and JP's wedding (beautiful and funny) and visit friends


This year started off with a big bang aka, largest snowfall in Houston in years! W is having a blast in preK 4 with his best friend NM. W loves trains, boardgames, and asking why. He's learning how to read and do simple math. He still understands Chinese, but he only speaks English now (as expected). YW is working per diem 1-2 days a week, so getting to spend a lot of time with J. We have a nanny for days when YW is working (she is so helpful - cooking and cleaning when she is here!). J is saying a few words here and there, but primarily no no no. AB is going strong into 14th year at an insurance company. Trips this year: Mount Rainier hike, San Francisco/Fremont, South Carolina work conference at Palmetto Bluff, Cancun, Los Angeles


Goal for 2026: better listener... when listening to others, try to be more curious, ask if I got it correct how they are feeling. 



Tuesday, January 6, 2026

2025 Christmas Holidays

 At the beginning of the holidays, it felt daunting to be at home with the 2 kids for 17 days.  The kids get tired and hungry at different times, so we have to schedule naps and lunches separately.  And Jasper can not participate in many activities that are fun for Wesley.  Also the stress of finding Christmas gifts.


In the mornings, we did the zoo (2x), children's museum, natural science museum, tennis, arboretum, woodlands (4 days), hermann park carousel/playground, church (3x), home depot craft and bday parties.  After afternoon naps, we saw Christmas lights, rode bikes, did grocery shopping, baked a pie, went to parks, took baths, did mini golf, had friends visit and played board games (azul).  

The first week was tiring as we tried to find a good routine.  The Woodlands visit was a nice change of scenery (seeing AB brother's family, different playgrounds and playing disc golf).  But it was still difficult, as everyone was sleeping in different beds, and AB parents try to keep their house very clean.  AB parents were also tired from having so many kids there for many days.  The second week was smoother, as we found a good routine: J eating a packed lunch at 11AM during our morning activity, then all returning home together.  At noon, J would start nap, while everyone else would eat lunch.  Then Wes would nap from 1:30PM to 3PM.  With both napping, we would get a chance to recharge, prepare dinner or play a game (Skyteam or Dead Cells).  So by the end of the holidays, we felt OK.  Nice memories are: Wesley getting his first hole-in-one at mini golf, playing Azul together (listed as a game for 8 year olds), seeing Christmas lights (Jasper saying "wow" and learning other words), Jasper's belly laugh and happy personality.