Screens in a digital age

2/17/26

Frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until 25, so helps to delay screens

Easy now, harder later. Hard now, easy later.

Videogames is a dopamine rush more than anything in reality. (Slow up down dopamine see friend, fell, yummy food, not yummy food). Vs videogame: huuuuge dopamine rush, so much that reality is not as interesting.

Social Skils

1 Affection Give & recieve love

2. Appreciation

3. Anger Management

4. Apology 

5 Atention

Affection

body, eye contact

online: not synchronous, disembodied

need to touch

kids are not getting their, love tank filled

TOUCH, WORDS

Time w/o Phone

gratitude

APPReciaTion

eve contact: Thank you-say name.

Entitled, don't have to Wait. they get whatever they want, can only choose what they want 

WAIT

Write someone a note of thanks

ANGER Management 

What happenod to make them mad 

good anger and bad anger. 

Bad Anger: I didn't get my way

APOLOGY: 5 languages

Regret,  repentance, responsibility, ask forgiveness, Restitution ( What can I do to)

Be ReaDy "Already know the worst thing they will do"

ATTenTion Aways thinking of something else.  your brain is somewhere else.   About half the people are somewhere else

We need to be PRESENT

pro 4:23 keep your haant

Start with dumb phone: text, group chat, pictures, GPS, clean music. Doesnt connect to internet. Example: Gabb phone: 

"Arlene" give discount. 

Important game can't be online and access strangers. 

But even when kids go on away games, trips, most others have phones, so they can ask friend to text to parent and check in. 

Things check all the time: put on computer. Add friction. 

Pick a plan: 

Platinum: delay smartphone, social media, video games until 12th grade or later. Making kids be bored so they can develop abilities and skills.

Gold: Delay smartphone, social media, video games, until 16

Silver: 9 hours sleep, 1 hour exercise, 2 hours or less digital candy. 

Bronze:

daily meal without phone

using both hands

-no device in bedroom

-phone free activity

- digital sabbath & Challenges

All with humility.

16 when drive, often ppl give phone, but its ironic bc so much distraction on phone (texting and driving). There are basic phones that have gps and texting. But encourage know where going and put phone in back.

Bill gates: no iPad till 14, many silicon Valley ppl say no ipad/phone till many years later. 

Rules: 

Daily meals w/o phones

No devices in bedrooms

Do phone free activities

Digital Sabathia and challenges (rest from YouTube, social media)

Spaces that are protected: but has boundaries. Everything away by 8, or Sunday no YouTube, and insist on it. 

"Parents Rising": how to lead in the home. 

Challenge: who can last longest without... or 1 month detox. 

Example: 

Son was so addicted to videogame, knew it was problem when son asked for $3 videogame and dad refused, the son said if you give it to me, I won't ask for anything else the rest of my life. Also having panic attacks everywhere. Required 1 month of detox (literal using body to block from videogame).

Kid has videogame access high school, and then flanking out of 1st semester college. Look like om drugs: scrawny, pale, zombie like 

Also easy accress to porn. 98% young adult male seen porn recently. 

Ask questions: does this give strangers access to my child? Is it addictive? Is it helpful? What problem does it solve? 

"Atomic Habits" book. Make habit obvious. At 8p, no screens unless together. Make it easy and pleasurable. Eg 1 month no screens and after can go on 2 day trip. Think how to make it fun? 

Benefits of limit screen: relational

Most likely online is digital Babylon (not digital Jerusalem). 

Dark green (bad), light green (good) online.

Do hard things now, and they will show how healthy they are later.  

Luke 12:4. Dont fear those who kill the body and can do no more. Fear those who after death can cast into he'll. Fear God. 

If 2036, what do I want my family to look like: 

Wesley 14yo, Jasper 11 yo. Family goes on vacation together twice a year. Both kids doing a sport they both love. No phones or ipads. We continue go to church together weekly and smaller group. Continue to be friends with current church friends. Brothers love each other. 

What plan moving forward: 

No smart phone till 18. But occasionally play videogames together starting ?high school on weekends with 1 hour limit. Not alone.

2025

-Largest snowfall in Houston

-AB continue teaching 6th graders at church

-I continued allergy shots (started Sept 2024)

-W continued in soccer shots (R)

-AB and I played church flag football -difficult juggling naps.

-W was featured on the Rockets jumbotron

-Seattle to visit family but also hike Mt. Rainier Sunrise side. Left kids with parents in Seattle and went to AT and L's wedding in San Francisco Bay Area. 

-South Carolina trip for AB's conference at the Montage at Palmetto Bluff (we learned where Justin Bieber got married)

-Cancun for ZJ and MW's wedding (beautiful, all inclusive resort), parents came too 

-Los Angeles for PL and JP's wedding (beautiful and funny) and visit friends

This year started off with a big bang aka, largest snowfall in Houston in years! W is having a blast in preK 4 with his best friend NM. W loves trains, boardgames, and asking why. He's learning how to read and do simple math. He still understands Chinese, but he only speaks English now (as expected). YW is working per diem 1-2 days a week, so getting to spend a lot of time with J. We have a nanny for days when YW is working (she is so helpful - cooking and cleaning when she is here!). J is saying a few words here and there, but primarily no no no. AB is going strong into 14th year at an insurance company. Trips this year: Mount Rainier hike, San Francisco/Fremont, South Carolina work conference at Palmetto Bluff, Cancun, Los Angeles

Goal for 2026: better listener... when listening to others, try to be more curious, ask if I got it correct how they are feeling. 

2025 Christmas Holidays

 At the beginning of the holidays, it felt daunting to be at home with the 2 kids for 17 days.  The kids get tired and hungry at different times, so we have to schedule naps and lunches separately.  And Jasper can not participate in many activities that are fun for Wesley.  Also the stress of finding Christmas gifts.

In the mornings, we did the zoo (2x), children's museum, natural science museum, tennis, arboretum, woodlands (4 days), hermann park carousel/playground, church (3x), home depot craft and bday parties.  After afternoon naps, we saw Christmas lights, rode bikes, did grocery shopping, baked a pie, went to parks, took baths, did mini golf, had friends visit and played board games (azul).  

The first week was tiring as we tried to find a good routine.  The Woodlands visit was a nice change of scenery (seeing AB brother's family, different playgrounds and playing disc golf).  But it was still difficult, as everyone was sleeping in different beds, and AB parents try to keep their house very clean.  AB parents were also tired from having so many kids there for many days.  The second week was smoother, as we found a good routine: J eating a packed lunch at 11AM during our morning activity, then all returning home together.  At noon, J would start nap, while everyone else would eat lunch.  Then Wes would nap from 1:30PM to 3PM.  With both napping, we would get a chance to recharge, prepare dinner or play a game (Skyteam or Dead Cells).  So by the end of the holidays, we felt OK.  Nice memories are: Wesley getting his first hole-in-one at mini golf, playing Azul together (listed as a game for 8 year olds), seeing Christmas lights (Jasper saying "wow" and learning other words), Jasper's belly laugh and happy personality.  

Fall 2025 Trips (Cancun, LA) and Thanksgiving

 LA Trip:

Adventure city theme park was much cheaper than the major parks and designed for Wesley's age.  Great memory going with Wesley on his first roller coaster.  After a more intense ride with videos showing a racecar theme, he wasn't phased by the drops or speed.  He asked "did we win (the race)?"  J loved petting zoo goats the most.

Seeing friends and a snapshot of their lives (KP medical school, KP parents, AB's HS friends whose neighborhood burned down, YW's medical school friend with 1yo) 

1st disc golf course in the world - Wesley enjoys throwing and can finish many holes himself

Kidspace museum near Rose bowl - lots outdoors and not too crowded

Wedding of church friends: kids were great with babysitter.  When babysitter asked Wesley about reading 3 books before naptime, Wesley said "I can only have 2 books" (like our usual routine).  When she asked if he would cry when going to sleep, Wesley said "I may cry if I wake up and I don't know where I am".

Hikes to Hollywood sign and Chino State Park that Wesley could do himself

AirBNB with 2 rooms allowed us to sleep relatively well despite Jasper's occasional noise.  Having lots of snacks kept kids happy throughout day and eating enough fiber

3 hour delay returning home, so the kids were delirious on arrival.  J also vomited on the plane.

We woke up at 5-6AM, but most museums/events weren't open until 10AM (close to nap time)

Travel logistics: difficult to carry a double stroller, large carseat and suitcase through airport and to car rental facility.  Still needed to borrow/return a pack-and-play and second carseat.  Difficult not to forget items in airport or Airbnb or car.  Difficult to prepare food or pack or cleanup when Wesley wants to talk and Jasper is grabbing everything.

Overall the trip was fun but logistically difficult.  We think travelling will be easier when J can communicate better and we can reason with him sleeping, eating, walking by himself and not grabbing everything around him.

Thanksgiving:

Playing Board games from library (gnomes at night)

Cooking together (Wesley put 4 pancakes on his plate after making them, and enjoyed making apple pies. It was the 4th generation to make the pies)

Playing kickball as a family, trying tennis.

Talking to friends at Thanksgiving dinner 

Jasper being sick and refusing to eat vegetables

Older kids not wanting to play with Wesley at Thanksgiving, or playing rough with him. Wesley saying “are you my friend?”

Wesley missing nap or going to bed late , and being grouchy afterwards 

Difficulty scheduling with AB parents. AB Mom anxious about getting sick, weather.

Cancun trip:

Fun lazy river (all enjoyed), slides for adults, beach and swimming pools were nearby rooms

Food was included, so didn't need to worry about choices and cost

YW parents watched kids during wedding

Seeing alot of friends

Jasper woke up at night

Spent alot of time showering/cleaning sand, getting J to eat fruits, prepping for naps

Kids don't do well with long delays, so couldn't enjoy many formal sit-down restaurants

Marriage notes

Marriage is ministry. Put your relationship with God is first and serving your spouse serves God. For the Glory of God. Illustrating

Gods plan in marriage is not straight line. God has made you for each other to complete the work he wants to do in you. Work through it. Persevere & perspective. Dont initiate the change of your lot. 

Out: how do I seek to please my spouse? Choose to love (verb), not only feelings. Become a consummate love with ingredients of 

Marriage is serving when you dont want to. Showing respect.

Pushing away emotionally, 

Intimacy plus passion = Romantic love...

Passion is just infatuated love...

Consummate love is combo of all 3.

Love languages: words of affirmation, quality, gifts, service...

Marriage is earthly context. No marriage in heaven. Only on earth, but has a purpose. Symbol of christ and church. That God has a plan. Purpose of procreation, divine. Joy and devotion. 

How to be faithful when feel stuck? Faithful in context. Eg patriarch, plebian, woman, slave, etc. 

Retreat 2025

 Trinity pines

Failure John 21: 1-19

What do people typically do when people fail: 

1) We go back to the familiar. What we knew. Eg in John: fishing. 

After becoming Christian, it gets harder, more convicted, maybe conflict in church, falling out of relationship...then maybe just want to call out old college groups, old friends, go back to what they knew before. When Jesus died, disciples: Go back to fishing. "It's over. Lets go fishing. But caught nothing." 

Cast your net on to the other side... like "did you turn it on? 🤔" 

When they went back to what they were good at, the Lord graciously draws Peter back to Him and reveals himself. Failure is seeing Jesus in a new setting. Is Jesus still gracious and loving when we are the bottom. The more we fail, the more Jesus reveals himself. Show mercy, love. 

Asked Peter do you love me? (Diff words of love, flock/sheep). Jesus is trying to bring him back to the point of failure. Jesus is maneuvering Peter back to the night when he failed Jesus. Charcoal fire: only other time mentioned was John 18 when Peter denied knowing Jesus 3 times. So Jesus asking if Peter lives 3 times matches the 3 times of denying Jesus. Bringing Peter back to the moment of failure so we can feel full restoration. When feel full weight of our failure, so we can feel fullness of grace, salvation, forgiveness. 

Apologize in our culture is downplaying the wrong: im sorry. No worries, no biggie, dont even mention it. But Biblical way is opposite: you really screwed up, that was wrong...but in Christ you are forgiven. 

So we can experience fullness of forgiveness. Counseling is what this is about. Take months to confront memory/reality. Hard because everything about us don't want to go back to that moment. 

4 statements Jesus says:

1) How's that working for you?

Not why you doing that? 

Its a great counseling technique? 

Someone can being doing something harmful for career or relationship and want to control them.... J just asks how is that happening for you? Is it actually good? 

I want to spare Christians all the paths to failure, but that's not how it works...

2) I have an idea. You can try going back to church? When you are fully out of options... 

Be open when they are willing.

3) Bring me what you have. 

Here: fish

Jesus already had fire, fish, bread. Doesn't need it, but he invites us to participate. Do together as disciple.

Not perfect, but bring what you do have. Eg ppl think not good enough to go to church, but ask them to bring themselves anyways. 

4) Let's eat together. 

Something about food and fellowship. 

Many times forgive, but dont hang out. Forgive, but not want to be same small group/sit together. But when Jesus restores us, he goes back to eating and same table. Lord specific about going to tables of tax collectors, etc. 

When we hit rock bottom, he will say these 4 things. 

Feel full weight of our failure so we can celebrate the great joy of our salvation. 

Pruning: 

When do we need pruning? 

Can be pruning what we see as good things in our life, but allow us to be more fruitful. Be better at making disciples. 

W 3y-4y

 3 is such a cute and funny age! Now W can express himself, but doesn't quite understand everything. It's fun to see his little brain piecing everything together and discovering new things and starting to understand more things. 

11/10/24 3 and 2.5mo

He has a better understanding of time and so now we can say we will do something later. But at the same time, he is remembering more, so we have to follow through when we say we will do something after a nap or after a meal. 

He started holding a pencil correctly after AB corrected him. Oh man...just when I corrected him, he stopped wanting to learn..only agreed to change grip when AB also corrected him. But unfortunately, AB's spatially challenged, so couldn't show him the right grip. 😅 Maybe the drawing class at his school helped too. Now he can roughly color in the lines. 

In recent teacher parent conference, teacher said he likes coloring and magnetic toys. He is social and behaves well. One of her best students! Yay! Surprised to hear he also eats about as much as other kids, but certain foods he doesn't eat like meatballs. It's funny he never has tantrums around his teachers and just saves it for us - even on the no nap days. 

We've been bribing him with an outside walk if he naps. But most effective seems to be threatening to take away his bunny. 

11/11/24

Sometimes I spy on W when he sleeps. And sometimes I catch him sleeping with both hands behind his head like he is lounging. Lol. Other times we hear a big thump! -he fell off the floor mattress! And yet he continues to sleep on. Other times he sits up, looks confused, and goes back to sleep. It's funny he puts his entire body on the pillow. 

12/2/24

W made an ornament (free kids workshop from home depot first sat of the month usually), and you can put a small picture in it. When nainai asked him what picture do you want in it? A picture of you? W responded: Mommy and daddy. <3 So sweet!

12/15/24 3y3mo

I went to MZ's fineral, and so AB had to take care of J and W by himself. He took them to in laws place, and that was a lot of help, but tiring for W and in laws. First time away from J (and W). 😢

Into legos. Like telling stories about legos: this is W's room, this is Baba's room...

Talking about classmates: sometimes kids can be bad. Like DL (kid in his school), he pulled a fire alarm. Ab: but DL is usually good. 

These were what W said at this past weekend's visit.

He asked YeYe: Why don't you park the car in the garage? YeYe said I have too many things in there.

After showing the stone wall with poo poo, and told him the Egyptian goose's visit, he asked : Why his friend did not come to join him?

We praised him for making a very impressive Lego bldg, he said: I can make it even more beautiful. 

We mentioned NB, he asked who is N, AB said my brother, your uncle. He asked is uncle N a grown up? AB: yes. W: so he goes to work. Not go to school. Does Uncle N have children?

1/4/25 

Some of my favorite moments with W: 

*When he says "mommy" in a sweet and loving way and gives me a hug. 

*When i was feeling sick and he asked me what's wrong and he gave me a hug.

Went to Seattle area to visit grandparents:

*AB's brother and family drive up from Portland. Chaos with 4 kids under 4 in the house. Brother also came back for a week while he's teaching English in Spain. 

*Went sledding at Franklin Falls Sno- park.  Road before said closed on Google but actually fine to drive. We thought we played on the kids sledding area, but it was the parking lot. 

*Went to bellevue square mall indoor playground and it was packed. 

*Went to pike place market via light rail. Initially not many people because we were really early, but got busy quickly. The new waterfront is pretty cool. Small outdoor play place. Need to remember to book aquarium tickets ahead of time next time. 

*Mom cooked for 11 people for 5 days. So much good food and so much work. 

1/27/25 

He will often say "yesterday..." ...which means sometime in the past. 

We were trying to put together some tracks for him today. He likes to say, "Probably..." like "Probably we can do this." Or "Probably we can put this here."  Seemingly like he knows what he's doing, when he has no idea. Haha

He would sometimes come home with a new Chinese phrase. We think he's learning Chinese from his friend CW at school who only speaks Chinese. 

2/18/25 

We finally took off wes' diaper overnight since he had been dry for several days in a row. And we've been pleasantly surprised that he has stayed dry. Maybe he doesn't drink enough fluids, but he kind of slowed down the amount of milk he drinks at night before bed. 

4/23/25

Lol...today I forgot to put pants on W before going to school. His shirt was kind of long, but still...didn't realize till we were at school and he came out of the car. Told him to hide in the bathroom while I went to get pants from school backup stash..but director still saw him without pants. 😅

5/4/25 

A friend said advice from an elder is that family should be overwhelmingly affirming. Hm, wonder if our family is more affirming than disciplining?

W showing some impressive memory: Christmas photo reminded him of model trains at second baptist. 

5/26 W had his first night time bedwetting last night. So weird... is it bc we went on a trip? Or he was too tired? Drank too much water? Stayed up too late before going to bed as he rolled around? Dont know...thank Goodness for waterproof mattress covers! Just as I thought we were not going to have bedwetting....

5/21/25

W's dream job is to be a baba (dad) lol.

8/14/25

W made a good friend for the summer (lucas), but the friend is going to another school for the fall. W has been enjoying the afternoon enrichment classes. Although communication isn't the best about what he does at the school, he's really enjoying the afternoon enrichment classes like soccer shots, cooking class, silly science.

W is excited about his birthday. He's been talking about it for more than 3 months. 

He loves trains right now. We got a big book all about trains (history, construction, types, etc.) from the library and he's been obsessed. He keeps on asking why he can't have a train (although he does have some at home, like wooden ones but not any with large long tracks). We thought there's no need because he has tracks at grandparents' places. 

Funny quotes: 

W: For nap time, you have to close your eyes.

When we moved W to a floor bed and locked the door when he goes to sleep:

W: Don't close the door so I can go in and out. 

When shown a map of Taiwan:

W: Baba, can we swim there?

W: Baba you go to work to get some money so we can go to HEB to get some food?

W says "when its gotta be clean, it's gotta be tide" because there are ads on our YouTube haha

W: The other mamas and babas are not proud.

Aw (uncle): I'm going to get you!

W: stop, you can not play with me, I am not a toy. 

W: Baba, I'm too tired for sleep time! 

JN: What does Jasper like to play with?

W: Baby toys

JN: Do you help carry the baby?

W: No, I'm too small

1 yr after fall from chair incident:

Yw: We are going to Naomi's house today! 

W: I will not stand on Naomi's chair today.

Ab: what kind of animal is baby J like?

W: A dinosaur

Ab: what kind of dinosaur?

W: A nice one

What does your costume say?

W: Stop, slow, go, and then something.

Today W put on his spider ring and said, "I'm married!" And when AB asked to who? W said, "To Naomi" 🤣

W: I like my baby!

Playing with Dr set:

W: Oh no your blood pressure is too high!

Ab: Oh no! What should I do?

W: You need to get 5 shots! Be strong! 

W: We need to get m&m yogurt and salad. We only need m&m yogurt.

Ab: what if I want to eat some broccoli? Is that ok?

W: that's ok.

When w saw me wearing a mask and I told him bc I was sick:

W: mama, why are you always sick? (Explained I saw a lot of sick kids).

W: If I'm lost and a policeman asks me where do you live? I tell him 5678 Mayfay St.

W: I say why at everything.

W: Where's my baby?

W saw R logo on AB's shirt, and said, "Baba, that's by the number in front of yeye nainai's house."

Ab and w were doing the big united states puzzle and nainai asked: W, Do you know where you are born? W: Yes, hospital!

W started saying rule number 1, rule number 2, like don't break this, no hitting, etc. 

W: Baba, will you love me if I am bad and if I am good?

Ab: ya, I will always love you

W: I will always love you too.

There was an olive in the salad.

Ab: Do you like olive?

W: Ya, I like all of it!

W: Baba, when I sleep a lot and eat a lot I can grow really big and touch the moon!

Ab: no W, the moon is so far away, you can't touch it. 

W: ??? Sometimes it gets bigger and smaller

Ab: you know the moon goes around the earth

W: what is the earth?

Ab: It's what we live on

W: Does Yeye Nainai live on earth?

Ab: yes

W saw a plaque that's for Mr. Hill at the park.

W: Where's is Mr. Hill

Ab: he died, so his body is in the ground.

W: he died???

Ab: Ya, when you get older, or get really sick, then you die. Everyone will die.

W: I will die too?

Ab: yes, but you are really young so you will not get old for a really long time.

W: I don't want to be in the ground.

Ab: that's why we have to eat healthy and get good sleep. 

W: did Mr. Hill have a family?

Ab: ya he had a family 

Ab: If you eat healthy and sleep well, then you won't get sick.

W: but I am sick right now.

Yw: who do you want to pray for?

W: my friends, I missed

W: Mama, why is your friend always sick?

Kp: Was it christmas at your home?

W: Sometimes it's Christmas, not always. 

Breakfast time:

W: I'm not hungry now, but I'll be hungry in cooking class. 

Ab: Oh, your poo poo is loose.

W: I probably ate something bad. Probably garlic. I don't know.

W: Daniel is going to Tony Tonio

Ab: San antonio?

W: yes!

W: I want to find the brown person (talking about a girl who wasn't really brown...but i suppose everyone is dark skinned compared to w)

W: If I eat this and the parfait, my tummy will explode!

W: mama, I want to see God

Ab: yes, when we die, we will go to heaven and see God.

Yw: eat some fei ro (fat meat in Chinese)

W: "fei ro, fei ro, let my people go! (Think Pharoah, Pharoah, let my people go)

Ab: the apple you chose is tasty!

W: It's too tasty! I don't like too tasty!

W: There will be 3 Daddys

Ab: 3 Daddys? You mean you and Jasper will be daddys? Then I will be a grandfather!

Ab: We are going to a wedding, do you know what happens at a wedding?

W: *I don't know gesture*

Ab: We eat food, and there is dancing...

W: And rocks to sit on! And we go wo wo wo and balance and fall!

Ab: yes...some weddings have rocks...

Sees JB dressed up in tie and dress shirt for family dedication

WB: I want to dress up as a robot!

I almost forgot to buckle W:

W: if you forget to buckle me, I will be gone!

YW: If you are gone, I would be so sad!

W: If I fall out, A car would crush me, and there would be no Wesley!

W: Im faster than you!

Ab: why?

W: Because you are too old.

W: Im not a fan of this. (Apparently I say this all the time)

W: I dont want them to visit.

Ab: why?

W: Because I will be tired

Ab: If you are tired, you can rest

W: But they will find me, and say "W do you want to play?" And I'll say "yes!"

W: Baba you are going to die soon.

AB: *shocked, gasped* Why?

W: Because you are getting old!

AB: Im not that old! Im going to live to 100! And im only 40.

W (in robotic voice): Situation...narval

Yw: isn't it supposed to be normal?

W: no, the robot at school says situation narval.

W: When I bless you, I cannot see (w calls sneezes bless yous)

W: Do bat (pretending to be flying bat) and bat (pretending to swing a bat) rhyme?

Ab: you goof ball!

W: im not a goofball, im a serious boy!

Ab: Do you know how to go back home?

W: you turn this way and this way and then you have arrived!

Ab: but what about from far away?

w: i dont know from far away. 

Ab: sometimes baba and mama get lost, we use a map!

W: if i get lost, ill find a policeman. The policeman will help me, they have a map.

Ab: you dont want to be too far from mama and baba

w: when i get angry, i go to my room. 

Talking about when we went to France (before W was born):

W: I was dead.

Yw: do you know why God loves us?

W: He washed away our sins

Yw: yes he washed away our sins, but do you know why he loves us? It's because he made us!

W: but you made me! 

Yw: Yes, but God made it all happen.

W: He pumped me out of your tummy. Your uterus.

W: Oh! J has a tooth!

Yw/AB: Oh really?

W: Oh, it gone away. It was a rice. 

W didn't want to go to school

Ab: why dont you wanna go to school?

W: Because I really really love you 💔 

4yo W to dad: Im almost bigger than you!

We went to vote, and halfway through, Ab's machine went blank...bc W unplugged it!

A Prayering Life: Sunday School

How tracking tell you about yourself: tracking prayer, see how God has acted.

 Need Prayer system:

ACTS: adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, supplication 

Psalms

12 prayer points for children (sins revealed, friends, future spouse, etc)

Cards of prayer request with date, topic, request, verse

Benefits of system: less "me focused", not forget big picture, see God answering, habit, build relationship when you check in with them and follow prayer request

Drawbacks: repetitive, checklist, become and idol/religious

Obstacles to picking up cards: phone,  misplaced, kids, fatigue, laziness, forget, change habit, lack time, find scripture, 

How long willing to commit each day to prayer card system? 3wk

When will you use it? Morning when wake daily.

Prayer life, major relationship, finances, work, difficult relationships, source of frustration

Chap 2

Focus of book isn't prayer, it's God.

Prayer hard to fit in busy life, but prayer leads to less busy heart. More peace inside, more able love others. 

Prayer is like 

...dinner with good friends. Not need to be on eggshells

...interconnected with all of life. Snowball: more love for daughter, pray more...more love.. lead more prayer

Prayer matures, never know fully

...Becomes aware of the story (God like psrent know more). Story also have tension/conflict. 

...gives birth to hope

...becomes integrated

...reveals heart

What makes a prayer valid

Poetry for neanderthalls

Come to God like young Child. We are qualified to pray even if we dont have fancy words. 

Pray with honestly and authenticity. Sin makes us not pray.

Chapter 5

"Jesus is the most dependent human being ever lived."

Interesting that we grow up thinking self efficiency is goal. But Jesus fulfills what God puts in front of him. We aren't dependent on ourselves, we are dependent on God. 

Pray all the time: if relationship with spouse is snippets of time, that's not good.

Pray during driving: if you only talk to partner while driving, not sufficient.

What's it like to slow down, give God your sole focus? 

What causes us to not sense our helplessness?

-self sufficiency, money/resources -gives sense of pride, feel prayer not needed. Faster

-things going well, complacent with what we have.

If we think we can do life on our own, we will not take prayer seriously. Our failure to pray will always feel like something else- a lack of discipline or too many obligations. But when something is important to us, we make room for it. Prayer is simply not important enough to us. 

-eg life sustaining medicine -we will make sure to take every day.

Take away

-parenting: took years to pray for behavior instead of guiding behavior...speak more to God than to kids. Has autistic kid who wanders at night. Used to yell at her ...change to pray with her that she has good night rest.

-Change anxiety to prayer. Loosing control. What ifs. Anxiety is unable to relax in chaos, but prayer gives it to God in the face of chaos. We want to know what's next, plan. 

How to cultivate a greater realization of our selflessness?

-Take notes/prayer, read it. Counting blessings. All we have is a blessing, all from God, so how can we boast? 1 Corinthians 4:7

-People speak wisdom in life

-From mistakes 

- when dependent on God/pray more, will depend on God more.

- Certain challenges (mission, work, family), uncomfortable situations

- vulnerability 

- good friendships 

-donations 

More mature through faith and repentance,  then greater view of our brokenness and  God's holiness. "Strong Christians pray a lot. If I were a stronger Christian, I'd pray more. But strong Christians pray more bc they realize how weak they are."

Breath prayers: short prayer.

Opposite of child like spirit is cynicism. Feel superior. When judging, critiquing...then not loving. Not want to be taken advantage of. But not delight bc need to be vulnerable. Trying to look at all angles...but to love, need to not trying look all the angles. Perfectionism struggles with cynical spirit. Less quirk and more deeper issue to deal with. 

Nothing cuts cynicism more than thankful spirit. How cultivate? 

Cynicism misses presence of shepherd. 

Genuine faith 

vs...

Naive optimism: loving all without basis of God. We go from bright of all to dark of all. 

How protect ourselves from becoming cynical: 

-Gauge own heart. If we truly believe God is Lord, then we will be ok if God leads us a difficult path. 

-apathy and anxiety: solution is prayer. 

-Pray: help with unbelief. Why and what to do about cynicism. Eg control issues. Lead to how to trust you more

-Thinking about what your idols are

-Fear of God

- Grateful and thankful

- Recognizing self is cynical

- accountability in community 

1. Be warm but weary. Cautious optimism: cautious bc of fall

2. Learn to hope again: grasp what Fathers heart is like, loves to give.

3. Cultivate childlike spirit. Lords prayer: if you take out all references to God and what hes done...its all about me/I. If we remove God, its all about us.

4. Cultivating a thankful spirit. You realize whole life is a gift. Thanking God restored the natural order of our dependence on God. Enables us to see life as it really is. 

5. Cultivating repentance. We want to display our best, don't show true self. 

6. Develop eye for Jesus. See people being faithful and see Jesus in others.

How have you seen Jesus this week?

-C.P. heart for others, mentoring others

-missionaries (A.L, L and H). 

8/17/25

What noise in life? Children, phone, need to br productive.

Memorizing scripture will allow it to simmer in mind.

Journaling: reflection, patterns, process emotion.

1. How am I doing? What is coming at me? Am I happy, thankful, discouraged, angry, or frustrated?

Im happy, thankful for what i have. I feel bad that Ab is doing everything for me and I dont feel like im pulling my weight. Worried about kids not truly understanding God and the Bible and the gospel and wont follow God in future. Guilty. I should read Bible more regularly. I want to be more productive and using my skills for more. 

2. What is God saying to me? What does the Word say?

That God has a plan and not up to me alone to lead my kids to follow Jesus. I 

J 1st year

 J was born 5/30/24 7lb 13oz.

What a cutie! So much hair! Very serious expression in the beginning, and then just slept the entire first day. Not even opening his eyes to feed. He had a good suck and latched ok initially, but then it seemed like he was too lazy to open his mouth wide. 

6/7/24 

Taking of J isn't too bad. He sleeps a lot and eats pretty well most of the time by bottle. Trying to increase milk supply by pumping after breastfeeding and when he bottle feeds. 

Main issue I have now is nausea, stomach fullness/discomfort, and belching whenever I try to sleep/lie down. I've tried Tums, pepcid, and sleeping with head of bed elevated. After I wake up is the worst. And I get a little better after eating a little bit. When its at its worst, I get these dull colicky contraction-like pains in my epigastric area. It would come every few minutes. Hope its not gallstones. But I also get belching with those pains, so i dont think its gallstones. Fits more with reflux. The contraction-like pain also resolves after a bm. Prob will need an appointment. 

Turns out due to constipation. Need more fiber and water! Too backed up. Already taking 1 capful of miralax daily, but will increase to 2. 

9d: 

Pumping with new lansinoh duo discreet wearable pump has been a game changer. What used to be an hour ordeal now takes 20min bc I can pump 15-20min and then just put it back in the fridge. No need for attaching parts or changing to pumping bra. Don't even use my spectra anymore. My milk has also come in faster. Now pumping 1.5-3oz. And also J is able to take in 2 oz when we did a weighted feed. Supplementing aggressively in the beginning seemed to help. 

Also took J out for the first time while dropping W off at school. Everyone was oooing and aaahing about how tiny J was. 

14d: 

Looks like my bleeding may have stopped! But my bowels are still not really moving.  Having to take a lot of miralax.  Tried to eran it a bit but then no bm today, so having to take a colace.  Still waking up with hungar pains, but not as bad as before. It's tough my mom keeps on offering me soup and very low calorie items with the thought that they are good for recovery, but I keep on worrying about getting hungar pains. 

J is doing mostly bf during the day and we give pumped milk during the night. Mom has been so helpful doing the night shift from 9p to 5a. Hard to sleep with j around bc he keeps on making eheh noise during sleep. One time he slept 6 hrs without eating! Almost back to birth weight. 

6/14 15 days: 

Went to 2 week appointment, yay back to birth weight and beyond: 8lb. Got his nbs, and went home. 

6/22/24 3 weeks

Thought bleeding stopped, but still a little spotting restarted...it never ends! 

J doesn't seem to be taking much from breastfeeding anymore. He seems really hungry afterwards, but only takes 1oz and falls asleep and then wakes up soon to feed. Sometimes sleeps for a while. Is it because he ate enough or he just got super tired from bf? Hard to say.... maybe do more weighted feeds? 

Oh man!!! All I did was go take a shower and then I forgot to tell my parents not to bottle feed him so I can try bf, and I come back and they are feeding him again. Sighs...can't sleep and can't shower ever during the day!  After a few min I'm sure it's not gonna seem like such a big deal. 🤦But makes me so stressed, sad, and want to cry right now. Cuz now if he's done eating before I finish pumping, I'm not going to have enough milk got the next feed and will have to bottle feed again. Or at least, that's what my mind is thinking. 

I hate pumping. Even with the wearable pump that's a thousand times easier, it's still not fun. 

6/24 3 week

I would like to breastfeed if possible, but J doesn't seem to effectively take in milk and just sleep/comfort suck. And gets too tired and just sleep after. Tried doing weighted feeds. At 1.5 weeks it seemed like he got 2 oz after an hour. But now it seems like he only gets 1-1.5 oz. In the morning. Afternoon he refuses to even try to breastfeed and cries until we give a bottle. 

Sometimes I feel ok. Sometimes I wanna cry because I just can't seem to bf...I feel so incompetent. 

Meanwhile, I domt feel like I can consult lactation bc last time we had seen one and they didn't help much. AB felt traumatized from lactation because W weight got so low, the attempts at latching correctly cause W to cry so hard, and subsequently, me. I'm sure if I mentioned consulting one, AB would refuse immediately. 

Also, I think a big part is being a pediatrician makes me feel extra incompetent. I don't think I know of any pediatricians who can't breastfeed. I had come to terms with it last time, and before birth, but I think old feelings creeping up. 

6/30/24 1 month

We made it to 1 month! Wow it passed pretty quickly. With my mom's help at night, I got much better sleep and was able to pass the time during feeds, burps, and pumping with Netflix, watching Asian drama, This is Us and How I Met Your Mother. 

J can now focus on our face and very infrequently coo. During tummy time he sometimes pushes himself over the boppy, and has turned over too. So far he is a pretty chill baby except for a lot of gas at night that makes it a little hard for him to sleep well. Calms down when we hold him. He is so cuddly I want to hold him all the time. But then don't want to get into a bad habit where he falls asleep only in our arms. 

Breastfeeding isn't going very well, but I have gotten over it and come to terms with pumping for a little bit. At least this time pumping is so much easier with the wearable. It's still a little troublesome to being places, but doable and takes less space. 

7/19/24 1.5mo

We had our first lunch date out with j To thai bistro. J behaved very well! 

Sometimes jay will sleep a very long time now from approx 1 to 7a. He Would eat quite a lot before he goes to sleep around eight or nine. In fact, during the day, he's quite frequently probably because he doesn't eat that much at night. He makes a lot of grunty noises like he has gas at night, time, which makes it a little hard for us to sleep. And sometimes we mistaken the gas sounds for hunger sounds. 

There's been a few rare smiles in his sleep. I have yet to see him smile a while awake. He has quite a bit of spit up. And sometimes vomits large amounts, probably because i'm too ambitious in feeding him. 

Now, i've leaned pumping to about five times a day. It's definitely much more freeing, So i've been able to go to an astros game, church, take wes to school, etc. However, despite my low expectations for breastfeeding, I still had a period of grieving when it didn't work out. 

This article explains very well, why women can be very unrational when it comes to breastfeeding. https://laleche.org.uk/five-ways-help-breastfeeding-doesnt-go-expected/

I still breastfeed about two or three times a day, only for 10-20min. At this point it's just comfort feeding.

7/26/24 almost 2 mo:

Sleep generally pretty good, sleeps 3-5 hours, which allows to do about 1 overnight feed. But sometimes he has a bad night and wakes up frequently. Taking shifts and sleeping in different rooms has helped us with sleep. I take 8p to 1a, drop him off with AB and AB takes care of the rest of the night. Because we both sleep between 8-9p, we generally get enough sleep. But also we can take a nap during the day. 

It's good to see back and forth cooing. But he hasn't smiled when awake. He often stares at the ceiling lights and fan. 

His feeding: tends to fall asleep and not burp, so it's hard to feed him a lot at once. Usually we give 2 oz increments. And close to night time he may take 2oz every 1 hour.

 Wish I read this before W was born! Haha: 

... about reality of newborns.

Excuse the language...

https://www.prosperitykitchen.co.uk/life-coaching/the-reality-of-a-new-born-baby/

8/5/24 2mo

I reduced pumping to 4 times a day.  Supply dropped, trying to let go.  Every time I drop a session I feel a little bad, but tons of relief.  So much more time.  And more time to cuddle and play with J. Remembering that having more time and less pumping is the best for our family. 

Rarely we catch a smile. But he is getting pretty good at cooing back and forth with us. He does some twitching when going to sleep. I think it's benign infantile sleep myoclonus. Will keep an eye on it.  

8/8 2.25mo

We are trying to spread out his feeds a bit, instead of every 1.5-2hrs. But he will suck his hands and not eat. And sometimes gag on the bottle nipple. So strange. We decided to try to go back to conotomo since I'm not really bf anymore. Maybe once a day one time. Also strange is he only eats 1.5-2oz during the day, then towards end of the day, he will chug all his quota for the day. Now about 27oz. 

Also I'm coming to terms with breastfeeding being bad for W, j, ab, and me. It's bad for everyone. It made my kids undernourished, they didn't latch well, didn't extract milk well, and they were too sleepy. And if anyone asks, did you see a lactation consultant, the answer is yes, and we were traumatized by most of them. W ended up getting jaundice and dropping to 5th percentile. So if anyone says breastfeeding is best, they are lying. Breastfeeding was the worst thing for my kids. 

8/19/24 2.5mo

Fortunately, J has been sleeping quite a good amount at night. He goes to sleep around 7 ot 8p, and I do a dream feed around 11:30p, and then ab will feed him around 6am. Sometimes at 6am he's still asleep. He's such a sleepy baby. Ab likes to call him an angel baby. Very different from W who needed constant stimulation, moving him around. J is such a chill baby. Except still has the occasional reflux/vomit at before bedtime at night. I think it's because we are mistaking his sleepy signs for hungar. 

I've also moved back to our bedroom and now AB sleeps upstairs. And we usually dont need to take a nap now. 

Baby J is holding his head up some when on his tummy. He will smile, but not much social smile. Sometimes. 

Tough part has been doing house fixing. Our AC drain pipe got clogged (thus time master), so took a whole morning and we finally got it unclogged with a shop vac. Meanwhile j got so upset cuz we just left him downstairs and he was crying so hard. At least we got it fixed! 

8/21/24

Wow, miracle. Baby J slept 11 hours 7:30p to 6a. It's possible we were all too tired and didn't hear him, but AB was awake from 1:30 to 2:30a and didn't hear him. Weird thing is after all that sleep, he didn't even eat that much in the morning. We were expecting him to be wolfing down his bottle. 🤷‍♀️

9/12/24 3mo and some

Started laughing when AB said "It's time for sleep NOW!" But it was a mixture of hiccuping and laughing. First time laughing awake. It was so cute!!! Got it on video and the interaction w/AB was so cute! 

He also sleeps around 8p and wakes up around 6:30-7am. With a dream feed around 10p. But sometimes he only eats 1-2oz. 

He likes to eat to sleep...hoping he doesn't get into a bad habit where he needs it. 

He has so many conversations now where he says things like ah-ooo. 

9/20/24 3.5mo

Rolled from front to back for the first time! It was almost like a fall bc of his heavy head. He also really laughed today. Seems like he will do it when he's extra tired. So cute...

11/11/24 5.5mo

He's pretty good at rolling back to front now.  A little trouble going back.  But he is content sleeping on his back. I tried giving a little diluted pb and banana. He hasn't figured out how to swallow it... haha. Mostly dribbles out. We are so lazy to start solids. 

He really likes to laugh when he is tired. Before he always got the hiccups. He especially laughs when we do peekaboo when he's tired. 

He will sleep about every 2-3 hrs, and sometimes sleeps 45min, but sometimes sleeps 2 hrs! He can sleep in the carseat, but doesn't usually tie two sleep cycles together so usually only 45min. He still eats pretty frequently - about every 3 hours. I know we are supposed to eat sleep play, but manh times he eats, plays, eats, and then sleeps. 🤷‍♀️

It's really amazing having a little human be completely dependent on you. Sooooo sweeeeet.  J is such a sweet awake. But I also love holding him when he's asleep. Unlike W, J let's me hold him! What a lovely, sweet, chill baby! Thank you God!  Is so fun watching him sleep and laugh and smile and become bigger.  Hope this continues... so sad these moments pass so quickly. 

We kinda neglected his costume for halloween... but found a small startrek onesie few days later. We also gave him his first haircut today! So much hair... 

Still doing dream feeds, but sometimes he doesn't drink any. But it's always so lovely to be able to hold him while he sleeps. Nothing more peaceful or precious. Watching him be in such a content state with his chubby cheeks and limp body. My precious baby!

11/17/24

Baby started babbling a lot. Especially when he's tired.

11/28/24 6mo:

Started having trouble going to sleep. He won't just quietly go to sleep anymore. We probably have to sleep train him. He would be obviously sleepy, but refuse to go to sleep and keep crying and crying. 

He is also sometimes getting on his knees in a crawling position. He can sit in tripod for a bit.

So funny: when he laughs too much, he will get hiccups. Just like me!

12/17/24

Baby J crawled for the first time!! Once forward with one leg, and once forward with the other! We were all very excited. He rotates around in a circle very easily.

12/21/24 almost 7mo

Babbling so much now: dididi, mamama, nainainai, ...

First word: "Nana"  aka banana. I regret giving him banana. Lol.

1/27/25 8mo

J has been crawling so much. And he tries to stand up now. He'll try to get on anything he can and try to get up with his hands. When we pick him up, he will kick kick kick with his little feet. So cute! Sometimes he's like a little lion trying to tear something with his mouth. He likes trying everything with his mouth. He's talking more now, saying things like mamamama,  babababa. And random sounds. When he was just starting to crawl, he was focusing on that and not very social. Now he's more social again. 

Ab reminds us it's easy to just try to move on from one day to the next and not enjoy the moment. Today we did so many fun things: we had alone time, we played an escape game online, we cooked yummy salmon and ate it, we played Zelda, hide and seek with W, we watched J laughing and trying to stand. Everyone ate pretty well and enjoyed the food. 

5/14/25

Can't believe J is almost a year! People keep asking if we will do anything for his bday, but we feel too tired... maybe something combined with big better W. 

Nick name: Belly Button Baby J

2/11/25 8mo

J's eyes remind me of Little tadpoles. And he has such beautiful flowy locks of hair. When he laughs and giggles, it's so much like baby W. So cute. 

He learned to drink from straw, so that's nice and convenient!

3/30/25 10mo

Jasper is 10 months old now!! He is cruising some, but doesn't seem to be close to walking yet (W was already walking by now). He's a hefty boy though! Average weight on growth chart, but definitely more than W! 

I'm reading Siblings without Rivalry. And I'm learning not to compare like above. Lol. Not putting them in roles. And loving them uniquely. 

5/15/25 11.5mo

Still no teeth! He's an avid stair climber, but doesn't know how to climb down. 

Occasionally J will say mama or baba here and there...but not consistent and not consistently with the right person. Also no pointing, waving or clapping. But he does bang 2 things together. Loves to hold on to the fake carrot and the fake pizza slice. And the diaper cream. 

5/30/25 1 yo!

Made it to 1 year old! We celebrated with grandparents with some muffin and banana bread. He loved them! A friend also got him a little Chantilly cake -so yummy! He ate the strawberry on top! 

Now j will say hiiiii. And has a distinct battle cry:  oooOOOoooOOOoooo

He will say mama...but seens like just when he wants something. And can kind of give hi five. He likes flipping pages of books and uses his pincer grasp to eat meat -his favorite! He can take a few steps from one furniture to another or to us and hes very good at walking holding on to one hand. 

Funny quotes:

AB: He was born with a mullet!

Smiled in his sleep. So cute! 

Yw: what is the barrier to giving him a bath? Not enough time awake. 

Ab: according to this chart this is his maximum time crying it should be 5 or 6 hours a day.

Yw: He's not even awake that many hours.

Neighbor: Does he have something in his mouth?

Yw: no, he just has big cheeks.

Milestones J

Speech

2-3mo: "Conversations"

3.5mo: laugh while awake

4.5mo: a lot of raspberries

6mo: a lot of babbling 

Almost 7mo: babbling a lot with consonant and vowel combo.

Motor: 

4mo: turn front to back sometimes and back to side

4.5mo: grabbing more things like foot. Kind of flipping pages

5mo: putting things in his mouth

Almost 6mo: tripod

6.5mo: scooting and moving forward/side

6.5mo: stand briefly while holding couch

6.5mo: crawling (barely)

8mo: pulled up to stand

12mo: take few steps

Social: 

2mo: tracking us, eye contact 

3mo: social smile

4mo: laugh while awake

Seattle Things to Do

 

See Mt. Rainier on the flight there (like on the airplane). I forgot which side...but best view on the airplane.

* Seattle center. It's got a lot of stuff there: MoPop (museum of pop culture)- it just looks really cool. That's also where you'll find the Space Needle, Chihuly museum of Glass, science center, childrens museum, monorail, key arena, some pavilions/theaters...sometimes they have events there, but it depends. I guess this is more touristy: http://www.seattlecenter.com/events/default.asp

* Pike place is kinda fun - touristy, and kinda like quincy market. First Starbucks and Seattle clam chowder restaurant there -long lines. Also new waterfront walkway and aquarium.

* Boeing plant tour is really cool too - but it might be a bit far, as well as the museum of flight. And I think Boeing doesnt do tours anymore?

* Cool buildings in Seattle: Apple spheres building. Seattle library. All Apple employee parking lots are free on weekends and open to public.

* Seattle Art Museum - not good to visit with kids- but maybe theyll have fun at the outdoor art museum! - it's called the olympic sculpture garden.

* Apparently Kerry Park is where all the postcards are taken: http://www.google.com/images?q=seattle+kerry+park&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=ywL3TM7xFYOB8gaYtO2nCQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CCEQsAQwAA&biw=1440&bih=750 Classic picture of Seattle downtown with space needle and Mt Rainier on clear day.

* It's fun to take the underground tour: takes you through what Seattle was like when it was...well, underneath what it is now. http://www.undergroundtour.com/

Hm....I've never been here, but I saw this place featured on travel channel regarding best donut shops: http://www.toppotdoughnuts.com/ looked interesting. 

Best fast food clam chowder in my opinion: Iver's. Also famous one called Pike place chowder near Pike place.

While in Seattle, eat salmon if you can!

May be fun to see the Ballard locks: during right season can see salmon swimming upstream. Also where they fill water in channels to move boats out to Puget Sound. 

Near University of WA you used to be able to rent canoes on Lake Washington. You can also canoe on Green Lake and at Log Boom Park. 

You can take the Ferries for fun. There can be long lines for cars. Easy to walk on.

It's kinda hard to park in seattle (except Apple parking on weekends). But in the city, there is plenty of public transportation. 

There's also a troll under some kind of bridge...i can't remember the bridge's name. it's just a sculpture.

Good hikes:

National parks: Mt. Rainier, Olympic Mountain ntnl pk, Cascades,

Mt. Baker, Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Pilchuck

Closer-ish hikes: Snoqualmie falls, Mt Si, Lake Serene, Rattlesnake Lake, Surprise Lake, Poopoo point, tiger mtn, Bridal veil falls, Blanca Lake, wallace falls, Rachel Lake/Rampart lakes, Mount Baring, Franklin Falls.

I think popular Chinese food is dintaifung, dough zone. And a lot of good Japanese. Sorry parents like to cook, so we don't usually go out to eat when we visit Seattle, so dont have restaurant recs. 

2024 Highlights/Events

 

* Pregnancy and birth of Jasper. Mom came to help 1st month. 

*Kiddos sleeping well. J eating well.

*Driving to almost Dallas to see total solar eclipse with KP

* AB hits a bday milestone

* W turning 3, swimming pool bday party. 

* Cancun babymoon with AB, W, brother

* MZ pass away after few years fight against diffuse midline glioma (DMG) of the brain.

* W goes to new preschool (Faith Lutheran)

* Weddings:  KeL and G (hcc friend), SeL and M (hcc friend), MeS and JY (residency and hcc friend)

* Spending a lot of time together because of paternity leave and PTO

* I changed from working 2 days a week to per diem (about 1 day a week).

* KP and brother visit.

*Visit Seattle for holidays with AB brother's family.  W saw snow for first time and went sledding. 

Pregnancy 3.0

This time, after finding out I was pregnant (10/2/23), we were super cautious mentally. Felt like we couldn't be happy and couldn't really monitor the pregnancy that closely. It felt like at any moment, I could have a miscarriage, and I didn't want to get attached or my hopes up. Waiting for my OB appointment to see if I can have more hope. But talking to others, it seems like so many things can go wrong with a pregnancy! 

I feel more nausea this time around. Is it because I'm more aware, my age, the foods I'm eating?...I don't know. 

Nausea started around 6-7 weeks. Man..some days it just comes out of nowhere. And I'm so sensitive to bad smells. Alan has to do all the cleanup in the kitchen and all the diaper changes in the evening. 

10/30/23 9 weeks

We finally had our first Dr appointment. And the ultrasound was ok - Thank God! Hearing the heart beat really made it real. 

11/8/23 10.5 weeks

So much nausea. Even though I'm taking B6 and doxylamine, I still vomited yesterday. Doxylamine makes me sleepy too. The fatigue has improved at least. I think I ate too much yesterday for lunch. And maybe again too much for lunch? Maybe need smaller lunch. Ugh....🤢. I'm so worried we are gonna be in Japan surrounded by delicious food and I won't be able to eat anything! 

11/29/23 13.5 weeks. 

Nausea is better. I still get nauseous if I eat too much at night, but not the same urge to vomit as before. 11 weeks was definitely bad, and riding the airplane also makes it bad. I think things were better when we were walking a lot in Japan, so I was still able to eat food in Japan. Exercise prob helps. 

Thank God chromosome testing is normal and found out baby is a boy! Haha, both Alan and I thought maybe a girl this time because symptoms so different, but you never know! We had a fun gender reveal where my brother picked the ornament with correct colored glitter and Alan hit it. 

12/2/23 14 weeks.

Still nauseous this evening. I think I need to exercise. But AB got COVID, so I'm stuck with Baobao full time now. I really should use Baobao's nap time more wisely! 

Good news is 14 week ultrasound is normal! Haha, he was moving quite a bit.

12/3/23 14 weeks. Extra nauseous today. Not sure why... Maybe the food? Alfredo sauce a lunch? Tomato sauce at dinner? Fried chicken church lunch at dinner. Yup...I vomited.  

12/8/23 almost 15 weeks. Man, I thought my nausea was getting better, tried stopping taking the nausea medicine (doxylamine + b6), but it's gotten worse, so restarted meds. Maybe too constipated? Maybe I'm eating too much again? 

Exciting news is Alan's brother is gonna have another baby too, but a girl! How exciting to have cousins around the same age!

12/16 16 weeks

Thought I felt baby moving at around 15 weeks. But maybe it was gas? 

Still some night time nausea, but not as bad. Eating fiber and miralax helps. Otherwise I still feel constipated and digestion is slow.

1/7/24 19w

Definitely feeling baby move more. Thankfully my nausea has gone away for the last few weeks. I can eat normally again! Yay! Sleep has been mostly ok. But still trouble with left back pain - can only mostly sleep on my right side. The pregnancy pillow was making it hard for me to sleep so I just decided to remove it. 

2/6/24 23w

Last few weeks I've been having issues sleeping. I also had woken up several days in a row burping a lot and with squeezing pain of my stomach (epigastric/sternum area)...which I later found out was because I was too hungry. Improved after eating more during the day...but it could have also been because I ate something bad? Anyhow I felt better each time after eating a bowl of cereal. But now I'm better...for now. 

I also feel super big now. I'm pretty sure I was this size at 28 weeks last pregnancy. 

2/16/24 25w

Should have talked to OB earlier, but the night time wakening much better after taking Pepcid/Tums after dinner. No more painful stomach squeezing and burping due to reflux. Sleeping better! Going to get my glucose tolerance test soon, so trying to eat low sugar/carbs.

3/21/24 29w

The 28w ultrasound showed baby went from 46 percentile to 18th percentile. Sonographer and ob didn't seem too concerned, but I didn't think the drop in percentile was very good. They said eating more wouldn't help...but I don't think it would hurt. Although the ob said it could be bad to gain too much weight.  But when was the last time I gained so much weight that it would be bad for pregnancy? When asked if due to marginal cord insertion found on the last ultrasound, they gave me a noncommittal answer that it's associated with poor growth. I was pretty sad and bummed about the ultrasound, and furthermore, AB didn't arrive till the ultrasound was done. Well, the only thing to do is look forward, pray, and eat. So...that's what I've been doing. But eating so much is making me feel stuffed all the time, and reflux is making feel uncomfortable at night. Recently my pubic symphysis dysfunction been hurting me too so much that during some of the appointments, I couldn't walk without supporting myself with my hands on a table. Maybe that day I sat too much on the ground or bad position. Doing some exercises seem to help a bit, and using good positioning. 

4/10/24 32w

Thank God the ultrasound went well! Baby up to 40th percentile weight! I was praying and eating a lot.  So many desserts and the opposite of when I was preparing for the gestational diabetes test. Not sure if the eating helped, but don't think it hurt.  Kp was visiting so she came to my appointment.  It was nice to have a friend there! The sonographer even showed us 3D models of the baby's face and it looked like W. 

Still having a good amount of pubic symphysis pain,  but the exercises help (toe tap, hip raises, rows on all 4, donkey kick,  squats, and abductor squeezes.  My reflux comes and goes, frequently needing pepcid or Tums. Ab had been a great husband,  taking care of W and the housework.  

5/7/24

We will probably decide on the name Jasper. It's been tough lately because of my cold. The coughing causes urinary incontinence and so much pressure. Also makes it hard to sleep. Man, this cough has been dragging on...

Sister in law recently delivered 4-5 weeks early.  Really puts us on high alert and so we packed our bag and put in the car seat. Thankfully baby and mom doing well! 

5/28

Lost mucus plug in the morning and spotting throughout day. Went to triage due to significant bloody show, no change after 1 hour , so got discharged at 3 cm. Didn't know was having contractions.  Didn't sleep much overnight, irregular contractions.  Next day appointment 4cm -1 station, told would deliver this week. Contractions more regular overnight , so went to hospital again may 30 at 1am. Contractions were pretty painful at thus point, so I asked for epidural immediately. Still took about an hour to get it with checking in, labs, etc, but thankfully I got it and it made everything so much more comfortable. I couldn't feel pain, but i could feel pressure and move my legs. We tried to sleep some, but there was constant beeping and people coming in/out. At triage I was 6cm, and when the ob Dr checked me, I was 7cm. He broke my water, and baby didn't like that much and had some decels. I had to adjust my position a bit, but not as bad as with W. At around 430a, I felt some pressure between my legs and turns out baby was already crowning and I was 10cm. I pushed 4 times (2 contractions), and baby came! He swallowed some amniotic fluid on the way out so they suctioned him and gave him a bit of oxygen. What a cutie with a head full of hair! He does look like his older brother, W. 

This time around I was so impressed with the epidural. Last time I couldn't move my legs, but this time it was just right so I could still kind of feel myself pushing. Also only 1 degree tear with 2 stitches, much better than 3A last time! Also pain afterwards a lot better. I was able to walk without assistance and without too much pain. 

J born 5/30/24 430a. 7lb13oz 19.5in

W 2.5-3y

 

3/21/24 2y 7mo

I keep on thinking how wonderful this age is. Yes, there are those tantrums here and there, but overall, this is the best age. W understands what we say, and he says things too...often time surprising us with new phrases. Sometimes he can be so sweet and generous. 🥰 I will miss this stage!

3/27/24 2y7mo

Cute phrases:

"Do you want to join us?"

"My belly button hurts"

"The banana in my tummy in there" 

Singing choochoo train song on repeat. Saying 3 dollars instead of "Y" When counting in Chinese, always skipping 11. When asked who he wants to pray for, he'll say "For W and Tuda."

4/24/24

When I try to get W in the morning now, he says "Go away!" "I don't want mommy!" It's because I have been a bad mom and not getting him in the mornings. Only ab has been getting him because I've been waking up late. 

W was trying to stand on the ledge half way up the bathtub and he slipped, fell, and hit his chin. He got a deep laceration on his chin, about a cm, but deep enough where I could see fat. Not wanting to go to urgent care or ER at night, I rinsed it with water and put steristrip on it. Unfortunately, the steri strip didn't stay well due to curvature of his chin and cheek and because he fell face forward in the sand and go the strip dirty. The strip fell off after 3 days with the laceration still gaping. I tried reapplying the steri strip and then put stretchy foam bandage on the steri strip and that did the trick to keep it on for 10 days from accident. When we finally took it off, the wound was healed and there was just a very small pink scar at the chin line.

5/25/24 

W is just finishing up his first year of school. We love his school and so does he. He has become quite an artist with all the art he brings back from school and also quite a chatterbox, frequently talking about his classmates. He likes to use scissors, but he hasn't figured out how to hold a pen correctly. 

5/30/24

W came to visit us when J was born. The presence of a 2 yo made everything much more lively, busy, and loud. He wanted to touch everything. 

W imitated J's hiccups.

Regarding J: "I want to take this home"

"I want to cover it."

6/6/24

When W does something silly to delay going to sleep, AB can't help but laugh and causes more delays. 

6/16/24

W developed a chalazion on his left lower eyelid statting 5/25. Was it because he is prone to it or due to sand getting in his eye, we will never know. We did warm compress inconsistently because he didn't like it...max 100 seconds each time. And then when J was born, we went maybe a week without addressing it and it got really big. Also developed a stye in the upper lid. Consulted my pedi ophthalmology friend and they said to do warm compress 4 times a day, 10 min, and also apply maxitrol (antibiotic/steriod ointment) for 2 weeks. A little fearful because of the steroid and potential risk of glaucoma. Thankfully the stye started expressing and after a week, the chalazion came to a head and started expressing a bit too. Now a little more than 2 weeks, it's much better, but there is still a residual red bump where the chalazion was and a pimple where the stye was.  

W has been very sweet with J. He wants to feed baby, burp baby, and put baby down. But transitioning to a new full time school (Christchurch) has been tough for him. First week he was sad to go because he missed his old school and friends. And then he stopped napping sometimes. Those days are rhe hardest because anything would set him off into a tantrum. 

6/30/24 almost 3y

Now j is 1 month, W has started some bad habits. Probably related to new siblings and school. He will want very particular things and if he doesn't get them, he will fixate and cry and tantrum. He's been dragging out bedtime. He will want one more book, and sit on the potty forever. Then want to wipe himself and with a square piece of TP. If not square, will repeated try to get one and waste tp. And when AB switched out the empty roll, he wanted the "small" tp roll back even though none are left. Another time he flushed, but then wiped, and got upset he couldn't flush his used tp with his poop. He wants to put on his sleep sack himself. Another day wanted me to put him in the crib instead of ab. And then wanted to wipe with a square paper towel, not a regular towel. These things drag on sleep so much..not sure how to address. 

7/19/24 almost 3y

W wants to be a firefighter or pilot when he grows up. He doesn't want to be a doctor anymore (which he wanted 2 days ago). He says he doesn't want to be a doctor because he is not sick. 

7/24/24

W just started his new school faith lutheran! We were a little anxious how it would go, but so far W likes it! It has more of a family/warm feel than the 2nd school he went to (Christchurch). More like his first school Westbury. We will always have find memories of Ms. Taffet!

Teacher Toni's description of him: 

W has been doing great on his first two days. He eats a little bit not too much. He is making friends and having loads of fun. He has not napped the past two days but he has been quiet. He informs me when he needs to use restroom and he is very independent. I also love his red hair. Glad he is a part of my class.

Haha! So funny she put the red hair in there! 

7/26/24

W picked out a Bible from the bookshelf.  He laid it on its side and tried to stand on it.  He asked "I stand alone on the word of God, the Bible?".

8/19/24

There have been more times when W says he doesn't want mommy or mommy go away or baba to get him out of the car/drop off. It's been hurtful and sad. Ab reassures me w still loves me, but it's hard to not think that he doesn't. It's because I've been more focused on baby j, so I haven't been doing as much bedtime reading or getting him when he wakes. It's so sad. I cried intermittently for a whole day. It happened before, but now it's really quite a lot. I almost feel like an outsider. 

Funny quotes:

AB: what can you fix?

W: Tuda, batteries, baba, dian feng shan.

Ab: Are you pooping or are you done?

W: I'm pretending to play

W: Go this way! (Making Ab and my brother go down the ramp instead of stairs)

W: Only peepee and poopoo in the potty. No toys in the potty. 

W: You are not a doctor, baba

W: to google: "How do you say bread in chinese?"

W: They are going to fix the fire hydrant! With tape!

On zoom, there's a person with their video off:

W: "Somebody hiding there"

W: "Mommy, you are so cute!"

At HEB: 

W: "This one for Wesley"

Sunday school teacher: "He has the most gentle soul."

W: "I have a question for you" ...then continues to stand there for a moment because he forgot his question. 

Ab: what are you doing?

W: I'm just rough housing. 

After watching my friend pump milk:

W: Mommy you are going to pump some milk

Ab: W, you are so cute!

W: I'm not cute

Ab: If you are not cute, what are you?

W: I'm a happy face

Ab: We are almost out of ice cream

W: We have to get some more from HEB

Ab reading book on vaccinations

W: "I don't want to get polio"  "I don't like measles"

W: Mommy, close your shirt! I see your belly! (Bc I'm pregnant)

W: baba, do you have a penis?

Grandma: you are a big brother now!

W: I'm not big, I'm still a baby

W: Baba, what did you do at work today? Do you play at work?

W: I'm going to go to HEB and work tomorrow.

Ab: Oh what are you going to do at work?

W: I'm going to play

W: I'm going to drive myself. And then go to Ariah's house, and play the bubbles outside. ...I don't know how to go, baba

W: You are so beautiful, mama! (Regarding a dress I'm wearing)

W: 3, 2, 1, time out! 

: Don't say no. ima throw you out 

Ab: who said that?

W: Ms. Jackie.

W: I pee peed! 

Ab: Outstanding!

W: I did not stand.

After doing some yoga together:

AB: I'm going to do the corpse pose.

W: Baba, wake up! 

W: Baba, when I'm big I can drive a car!

AB: you have to be 16!

W: Baba, are you 16?

The other day, W was singing the b-i-b-l-e song, and took one of the children bible books and put it on the ground, asked AB "I can stand on it?" As he put a foot on it. 🤣

W's new catch phrase: save it for to-rro-mow!

Ab: what music do you want to hear?

W: waterbottle music

Ab: uh...ok google, play waterbottle music

Google: *starts playing Bollywood music*

W playing with a bottle: 

W: a little penis can fit in there. A big penis will break it. 

*AB laughing*

Yw: I don't think it will break it, it'll get stuck.

W: It will get stuck and then it will be an emergency. The ambulance will come and cut it. Like paper. 

*AB laughing hysterically*

Hurricane Beryl and Baby2 (1month)

 

YW's mom left Friday July 5.  At first, we were just worried about getting through our first weekend alone, until Wesley's school would reopen on Monday.  LIttle did we know, we would need to watch both of them alone for 9 days, since Wesley's school would be closed all following week, due to a hurricane power outage.  How we survived:

1. Shift schedule overnight. YW would feed J around 9PM and again sometime between midnight and 2AM.  Then drop him off outside AB's room.  This way, YW could sleep a long stretch afterwards.  AB could sleep a long stretch from 9PM to hopefully 3AM.  We could catch up on additional sleep during Wesley's naptime, which thankfully was still 2-3 hours in the afternoon.

2. Playdates with our friends.  We stayed overnight at J/S house, so those new toys entertained Wesley for 2 days.  Also, playdates with EH, where their large number of toys entertained Wesley for 2 days.  Another day, Wesley went to our neighbor's house. Other days, we took Wesley to the park playground, church, or he was able to entertain himself at home.

3. Wesley's behavior improved significantly.  We think this was due to several factors:

a) Time getting used to baby J

b) Sometimes Wesley's behavior is better when fewer adults are present.  He no longer sees someone rush to respond to baby crying, or sees crying as an effective way to get attention.

c) He has been sleeping better: longer naps at home and quieter environment at nap time.  

d) We have tried to be more empathetic when he is frustrated.  We notice he calms down more when hearing "I'm sorry" and sensing empathy.  He tends to escalate temper when we are frustrated, authoritarian and/or argue.