Love Lies

Lecture Series at the Journey regarding misconceptions of love:
Love is a feeling

• Lie 1) Love is basically a "skill set" compatibility business.
• Evaluate whether I'm using this person to help me achieve something (entertainment, profit, God) vs. the goal is to love this person.
• Lie 2) Love is only sacrifice
• But in Christianity, love is both duty and delight (possible to have both)
• Lie 3) Love is only a feeling
• Feeling follows action, so a vow is a daily choice to be loving.
• You may think you do things for others b/c you love them, but in reality, you love people because you spend time on them.
• Nature of true love: 
• Love is the ends, not the means
• We think we do for others, but actually we often do stuff for ourselves
• Farmer + carrot story: love others for their sake, not for ours
• Perfectionistic - wait a minute, God's doing all of this.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
• Start actively receiving love [from God]

Talk is Cheap

• Silence vs. encouragement:
• We all remember distinctly encouraging words from our past
• But we forget what we didn't hear/silence
• E.g. Darrin wish he had heard: "You are not a dumb jock," "You are better than this," etc.
• Silence kills
• There are people around who desperately need to hear your words of encouragement
• Criticism and correction
• Criticism tears other people for our own good
• Correction is for other's good
• Fans vs. friends: friends wound you (for your own good) whereas fans never wound you.
• Criticism is general
• Tear down words
• Gossip - words you wouldn't say if they were in the room
• comparison - to make yourself look better
• Flattery - manipulate others with kind words to get something
• Loose lips -refuse to hold tongue, must have the last word, always tries to one-up someone with story
• vs...Build up words: think - would I want to hear that when I'm in emotional distress?
• Slander vs. Prayer
• Slander: some of it kind of true; exaggerates weakness and defines a person by that weakness, often something you're strong in.  Attempt to gain control over a person.
• Prayer: acknowledge God is in control.
• Tongue tied to heart
• to deal with words, need to deal with the heart
• If you are utterly grateful for what God has done for you, your words will show it.
• What you say is what you hear. 
• Listening to other voices vs. being attune to God's voice
• You can't affirm yourself.  We are made to need affirmation from outside - specifically from God (not job, hobby, significant other, etc.)