2/17/26
Frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until 25, so helps to delay screens
Easy now, harder later. Hard now, easy later.
Videogames is a dopamine rush more than anything in reality. (Slow up down dopamine see friend, fell, yummy food, not yummy food). Vs videogame: huuuuge dopamine rush, so much that reality is not as interesting.
Social Skils
1 Affection Give & recieve love
2. Appreciation
3. Anger Management
4. Apology
5 Atention
Affection
body, eye contact
online: not synchronous, disembodied
need to touch
kids are not getting their, love tank filled
TOUCH, WORDS
Time w/o Phone
gratitude
APPReciaTion
eve contact: Thank you-say name.
Entitled, don't have to Wait. they get whatever they want, can only choose what they want
WAIT
Write someone a note of thanks
ANGER Management
What happenod to make them mad
good anger and bad anger.
Bad Anger: I didn't get my way
APOLOGY: 5 languages
Regret, repentance, responsibility, ask forgiveness, Restitution ( What can I do to)
Be ReaDy "Already know the worst thing they will do"
ATTenTion Aways thinking of something else. your brain is somewhere else. About half the people are somewhere else
We need to be PRESENT
pro 4:23 keep your haant
Start with dumb phone: text, group chat, pictures, GPS, clean music. Doesnt connect to internet. Example: Gabb phone:
"Arlene" give discount.
Important game can't be online and access strangers.
But even when kids go on away games, trips, most others have phones, so they can ask friend to text to parent and check in.
Things check all the time: put on computer. Add friction.
Pick a plan:
Platinum: delay smartphone, social media, video games until 12th grade or later. Making kids be bored so they can develop abilities and skills.
Gold: Delay smartphone, social media, video games, until 16
Silver: 9 hours sleep, 1 hour exercise, 2 hours or less digital candy.
Bronze:
daily meal without phone
using both hands
-no device in bedroom
-phone free activity
- digital sabbath & Challenges
All with humility.
16 when drive, often ppl give phone, but its ironic bc so much distraction on phone (texting and driving). There are basic phones that have gps and texting. But encourage know where going and put phone in back.
Bill gates: no iPad till 14, many silicon Valley ppl say no ipad/phone till many years later.
Rules:
Daily meals w/o phones
No devices in bedrooms
Do phone free activities
Digital Sabathia and challenges (rest from YouTube, social media)
Spaces that are protected: but has boundaries. Everything away by 8, or Sunday no YouTube, and insist on it.
"Parents Rising": how to lead in the home.
Challenge: who can last longest without... or 1 month detox.
Example:
Son was so addicted to videogame, knew it was problem when son asked for $3 videogame and dad refused, the son said if you give it to me, I won't ask for anything else the rest of my life. Also having panic attacks everywhere. Required 1 month of detox (literal using body to block from videogame).
Kid has videogame access high school, and then flanking out of 1st semester college. Look like om drugs: scrawny, pale, zombie like
Also easy accress to porn. 98% young adult male seen porn recently.
Ask questions: does this give strangers access to my child? Is it addictive? Is it helpful? What problem does it solve?
"Atomic Habits" book. Make habit obvious. At 8p, no screens unless together. Make it easy and pleasurable. Eg 1 month no screens and after can go on 2 day trip. Think how to make it fun?
Benefits of limit screen: relational
Most likely online is digital Babylon (not digital Jerusalem).
Dark green (bad), light green (good) online.
Do hard things now, and they will show how healthy they are later.
Luke 12:4. Dont fear those who kill the body and can do no more. Fear those who after death can cast into he'll. Fear God.
If 2036, what do I want my family to look like:
Wesley 14yo, Jasper 11 yo. Family goes on vacation together twice a year. Both kids doing a sport they both love. No phones or ipads. We continue go to church together weekly and smaller group. Continue to be friends with current church friends. Brothers love each other.
What plan moving forward:
No smart phone till 18. But occasionally play videogames together starting ?high school on weekends with 1 hour limit. Not alone.
