OMG, Everyone's Getting Engaged!

"Marriage shouldn't be a picture of two people looking into each other's eyes, but of two people standing next to each other and looking out into the distance." There was a VERY interesting sermon at my church today about dating/marriage.  Highly recommend watching it (whether you're single or not)! http://journeyon.net/media/you-yours/loving-god-single-person  (Start at 4:50).  E.g. did you know dating was an euphemism for paying for sex?  Strange...But for the lazy yet curious, here are some highlights:

• Best way to find out if you really actually like someone is by hanging out with other people and seeing how they interact with other people.
• People tend to trick themselves into thinking they like someone ...but in reality, it's because they don't hang out with anyone else. (so true in the case of med school...)
• Seeing his/her interaction with other people will reveal their true self... (haha, this is something my dad told me)
• Your spouse shouldn't be a puzzle to be solved, but a mystery to be explored.  If you think you know everything about them, don't marry them.
• The purpose of marriage isn't happiness, but holiness.
• For many people, marriage is a consumerism reenactment: they look for someone who's attractive, smart, whatever to make themselves feel better.  But when you look for a partner, you don't look for a statue, you look for a marble tablet; not a perfect outcome, but a project.
• Many people also try to get more than what they put in - which in combination with above causes them to see something better and go after that instead.
• Don't be obsessed with perfection, participate in the process of making them perfect.
• Don't focus on who they are, but what they will be.  A vow is a future appointment to meet each other's needs.
• For others, marriage is a movie reenactment:
• Casual sex tries to separate the delights of sex from the responsibilities/covenant
• It damages one's ability to commit and weakens the future covenant to your partner
• C. S. Lewis wrote a book about the four kinds of love. Biblically, it should be in this order when you go through a relationship: 
• Philos: friend
• Storge: affection
• Agape: commitment to serve them
• Eros: sex
• ...But the current mainstream love is this way: Eros, Storge, Philos, Agape
• Things to look for in a partner:
• Christian
• Understands the Gospel
• Doesn't take shortcuts - do the not fun things, willing to do hard things
• And...a no brainer: be attracted to them
• Make you want to be more like Jesus
• Give you a vision for the future
• In the end, he also said people should address their social strangeness.  When I heard this, I thought, ok, maybe I should join a convent.  Haha...yes, I have that many social strangenesses.